


Looking For a Quicker Fix

by butchsquatch



Series: A Fire of Devotion: The Story of Sebastian Moran and Jim Moriarty [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Blood, Choking, Craig Parkinson Sebastian, Dismemberment, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, F slur, Face Punching, Face Slapping, Hounds of the D'Ubervilles inspired, I don't live in England so there's probably some stuff i'll get wrong, Jaw Grabbing, M/M, Manipulation, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Self-Hatred, Sexuality Crisis, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:08:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22725913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butchsquatch/pseuds/butchsquatch
Summary: Sebastian is broke, drinking too much, and newly returned from the military.  Things are shitty but an offer from Jim Moriarty gives Sebastian a new life. But that doesn't come without a whole collection of new problems: Emotional torture, strict rules, and realizing he's not heterosexual.
Relationships: Sebastian Moran/Jim Moriarty
Series: A Fire of Devotion: The Story of Sebastian Moran and Jim Moriarty [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707397
Comments: 11
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic title from the song "Cascade" by The Dear Hunter. Thanks to my girlfriend for letting me use her OC in this, I love you babe.

Sebastian tossed his keys up in the air as he walked down an empty London street at 3 am. He was clearly sloshed because they missed his hand completely and landed on the sidewalk with small *tink*. Letting out a long exaggerated groan and swearing out loud, he bent over and picked them up, still bent over when a car pulled up next to him. Sebastian furrowed his brow and stood up slowly, speaking to the car despite the fact he wasn’t sure anybody was listening, “Hey mind your own fucking business! You never seen anybody drop their keys before?!”

The car idled for a long moment and Sebastian felt the drunk rage bubbling inside him, stumbling his way over to the car, upon which the car drove away. Sebastian wobbled and yelled after the car as it drove away, “Yeah fuck off you bastard!”

Eventually, after a bit of drunk singing and spewing his fish and chips somewhere he definitely shouldn’t have, Sebastian made it back to the shitty room he was renting; If you asked him how he got back he wouldn’t be able to tell you. He’d been back in London for about 8 months and the habit of going out _had_ started as a once a week thing till eventually, it got to be pretty much every night. Drink till you can’t anymore, stumble back home, nurse hangover, repeat. He let his head hit the pillow as he thought of the hot waitress from the 2nd pub he’d gone to.

Sebastian woke from his half slumber to the sound of Sharon, the large woman in her 60s he was renting from, calling his name. He groaned and took a minute to sit up, noticing he hadn’t taken his coat or boots off before going to sleep. Rubbing his face and mumbling a quick “yeah yeah”, Sebastian got up and opened the door, finding himself face to face with Sharon shouting far too loud for 9 am, “Did you throw up on my antique rug, you dirty bastard?” 

* * *

Shit had been tough since he returned from the military, Sharon making it even worse by already kicking him out. It had been hard enough to find a room to rent in the first place, and now he was getting kicked out for a bit of after partying vomit? He may have knocked over a couple of other antiques before, yes, but he didn’t deserve this. Didn’t all these people know that Sebastian was the best sniper around? Sure, he might not have been discharged on the best of terms, but he was still _the best sniper._ Sebastian vaguely remembered telling at least one person about that last night in hopes of getting laid. 

He adjusted his duffle bag on his shoulder and checked his phone. Nearly dead. Wallet? Practically empty. Unfortunately, Sebastian’s drinking habit had left him broke. Broke and with every bridge he’d ever created with another person burned to a crisp before he left for service. _You dumb bastard._ Sebastian growled as he made his way down the street, trying to think of where he could go. 

“Fuuuuuck!” Sebastian shouted to the relatively empty neighborhood that didn’t give two shits about his problems. A car pulled up beside him and it took Sebastian longer than he would have liked to remember that it was the same car that had pulled up beside him the night before. He snarled and moved toward the front of the car, hoping to start some shit with whoever was behind the tinted glass, “Hey you wanna leave me the fuck alone, mate?!”

The driver’s side door opened, revealing a man who looked to be in his early 50s with a salt and pepper beard. He wasn’t a particularly tall or muscular man, but he had the presence of someone that shouldn’t be fucked with, someone with a certain amount of authority, as he wasn’t the least bit phased by Sebastian. The man walked around and opened up the back door of the car for Sebastian, looking at him expectantly.

“Really?” Sebastian remarked, his eyebrow lifting as he looked from the man to the open back seat, “I don’t know who the fuck you are and you think I'm gonna get in?”

The man sighed and reached into his pant’s pocket, speaking as he handed a business card over to Sebastian, “It would be in your best interest, Mr. Moran, to get in the car. M really doesn’t like to wait and we all know you need a job.” And with that, the man walked back around to the driver’s side and got back in, not waiting to see what Sebastian would do. 

Sebastian scanned the business card but there wasn’t much to look at. It was obviously expensive, the paper was thick and the embossing was crisp and neat, but the card only had the initials “JM” and no contact information. A chill went through Sebastian, one that wouldn’t be able to explain even in the years to come, and he looked in the car once more before getting inside, the driver setting off the moment he heard the door close. Just like the business card, the car was clearly expensive. There were several seats in the back, there was a space for a bar but it appeared to have been emptied, and there was a tinted window separating the driver from whoever was in the back. Sebastian leaned over to check the bar a bit more thoroughly, but it was completely dry. _Can’t even go 8 hours without a drink? Sharon was right to call you a dirty bastard._ Sebastian’s thoughts berated him as he sat in silence.

* * *

Sebastian’s hangover made the winding drive through the countryside way less enjoyable and much more difficult. He’d already thrown up the night before and he was not about to throw up in the back of his possible employer’s vehicle. This was someone that Sebastian didn’t know that _knew_ him and was possibly offering him a job. Sebastian’s ego was all over the place, as usual, taking him from internal personal flagellation to outrageous self-importance. Obviously whoever this was knew how useful and specialized he was. Eventually though, Sebastian ended up vomiting into an empty ice bucket, which is more effort than he typically put into not puking on something valuable, along with being a slight against his ego.

The car rolled to a stop next to a nearly empty field, save for a tree with a man seated under it. Sebastian felt the suspicion growing in him once again, and he thought of how he might get out of the situation. Of course this was a setup, why wouldn’t it be? Sebastian had made a lot of people upset with him, he knew that all too well. Just as he was about to open the backdoor, it was opened for him, revealing the much too bright sun along with the driver, who spoke to him very plainly, “As I said, he doesn’t like to wait. Leave your bag.”

Letting out a small growl, Sebastian stood to his feet, squinting in the sunlight, “Fine, but just so you know I threw up in that ice bucket,” He patted the man on the shoulder, ignoring the fact that he was indeed not someone to fuck with, “Thanks, mate.”

And with that, Sebastian walked over toward the man, uncomfortable in the wide-open unprotected space of the field, which ended up being mostly comprised of weeds. M was already looking in Sebastian’s direction once he’d gotten out of the car and it was sending more chills through Sebastian than he knew what to do with. The man was much shorter than Sebastian and far better dressed; Obviously a man with an expensive-looking business card would have an expensive-looking suit and designer sunglasses. He was seated at an outdoor cafe table with a tea set and two chairs, smiling a perfect fake smile at Sebastian as he approached. “Moran, you’re late. Sit down.”

Sebastian sat opposite the man, noting that _his_ side of the table was in the shade while Sebastian’s was directly in the blasting sunlight. He wasn’t sure if that was out of some kind of malice or just lack of consideration for others. The man poured a cup of tea for himself in silence, making it perfectly the way he wanted it to be before he spoke, “You know I _have_ seen someone drop their keys, but he wasn’t as drunk as you were, Sebastian. And I _don’t_ like being called a bastard.”

His fists clenched in the pockets of his jacket as he stared back at M, keeping his face as devoid of emotion as he possibly could. It didn’t work, because the man opposite him grinned and rested an elbow on the table, looking a touch bored with the meeting already, “You keep everything so close and tight Mr. Moran, I don’t think that could be good for you. Of course, neither is that little drinking problem of yours. Bad enough that Sharon just kicked you out of the laaast place you had to stay. Take your hands out of our pockets, it's _rude_.”

He obeyed quickly, taking his hands out of his pockets and resting them on his thighs, a shudder running through him as he made uneasy eye contact with M again. The man in front of him knew too much about his life, his experiences, and his emotions for Sebastian comfort, and it made him feel something that he couldn’t describe. He felt exposed but understood more than he’d ever been in his life, it was almost freeing. No one had ever cared enough to know about Sebastian and he generally kept it that one, pushing people away on purpose. The man across the table from him was never going to let him do that again.

Sebastian cleared his throat and was about to speak, but the man spoke before he could, “There we go, that’s better,” He took a sip of his tea and spoke once more, “My name is Jim Moriarty and I want you to work for me, Mr. Moran. Yes, I know you were quietly kicked out of the military for drug, alcohol, and general and consistent unruly behavior. I don’t care about that. My rules differ from the army’s, but I _won’t_ tolerate any unruly behavior, you won’t be politely kicked out, Sebastian, you’ll just be killed. Any questions?”

Sebastian hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath until Moriarty asked if he had any questions, exhaling before he spoke, “What’s the job, Sir?” _Shit, am I actually taking this seriously?_

Jim smirked at Sebastian and waited a moment to speak once more, letting him sweat in the sunlight before he answered, “The short answer is I need a right-hand man and you seem to be the man for the job. You’re superb with most firearms but excel as a sniper. You’ve never been one to obey the law, you have nothing, you have no one, and I know you’re willing to kill people. The only problem is that, as of right now, I wouldn’t let you be in charge of a goddamn thing. You’re out of shape, drinking constantly, and have too much of a mouth. You are at your _best_ when you have structure, and right now you’re a wild animal. So would you like a job or do you want to ruin the rest of your life by being _nothing_?”

Shifting in his seat, Sebastian thought about his two options. Like Moriarty had said, he had nothing and he had no one, so if he didn’t take the job, he would be drinking his life away alone, turning to one of those pathetic old men at the pub trying to get with girls 40 years younger. The job came with a lot of risks, he would obviously be doing illegal things and that doesn’t come without possible death or inevitable physical pain. But the idea excited Sebastian and it reminded him of his days of fulfillment from just 3 months earlier. “I’ll do it,” Sebastian finally announced, his hands relaxing on his thighs, “Whatever you want. I’ll do it.”

The grin returned to Jim’s face as he extended his hand out to Sebastian, “I had a feeling you would say that.”


	2. What would you do if you only knew?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim has already found many easy ways to get under Sebastian's skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated to reflect the more explicit content of this chapter  
> Chapter title comes from "Terrible Things" by April Smith and the Great Picture Show
> 
> 3/12/20 Edit: I'd mixed up a character's last and first name so I changed it.

Jim walked a few paces in front of Sebastian on their way back to the car, not bothering to turn his head back to speak to him, “You’ll be required to work out every day and stop eating the garbage you do right now. And no more wearing denim, Moran, it's for working-class people.” He came to a stop in front of the car and the man that drove Sebastian there opened the door for Jim, “Wilson, take us to Sebastian’s new flat.”

Finally, Sebastian had a name to put with the face that had been driving him around this morning; He assumed the man’s last name must have been Wilson, rather than his first name. It wasn’t lost on him that even though Wilson was someone tough and still shouldn’t be fucked with, Sebastian _did_ outrank him. _Right-hand man, how about that?_ _Do you think you deserve it?_ Sebastian licked his lips and glanced at Wilson as he got in, giving him a nod.

Wilson smirked back at Sebastian for a split second and spoke, “Moran. Try not to throw up again.” 

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Wilson and got in the car after Jim, who was already looking through his phone, “There’s a contract at your flat that you’ll need to sign. I don’t work in handshakes or promises. I’d prefer to have it in writing. As much as I love that you said, what was it? ‘Whatever you want’?” Jim got a small grin on his face as he peered up at Sebastian from his phone, “I love it when people say that. Although most people say that when they have a gun to their face. You certainly are eager to please, aren’t you Moran?”

A skeptical laugh came from Sebastian’s throat and Jim’s expression changed. Clearly, he didn’t think it was very funny. “You’re serious?” Sebastian asked.

“Did you forget I know everything about you? Sebastian, dear, at this point I know you better than you know yourself.” Jim set his hand on Sebastian’s leg, finally looking up from his phone and instead of browsing through his phone. He was looking at Sebastian with a certain amount of compassion. No, it wasn’t compassion. He was looking at him like he knew that Sebastian was just an ignorant dumbass and Jim was there to teach him better. It was a look of pity more than compassion.

That only made Sebastian madder, causing him to impulsively grab Jim’s wrist and throw it off his leg, shouting at him, “You only just met me you bastard!”

He’d barely taken a breath when Jim’s hand was gripped around Sebastian’s jaw and his head was pulled forward, only a couple inches from his face while Jim spoke in an even voice, “What did I say about calling me a bastard?” Jim’s perfectly manicured nails dug into Sebastian’s skin and he could feel his cock getting uncomfortably hard. But Jim had his undivided attention; Jim could tell cause he grinned at Sebastian and he reprimanded him with a voice just barely above a whisper, “You’re 32. You were caught stealing when you were 12, 15, and 18. You went to jail for a year but daddy still made sure you got into college and the military. You dropped out of college to join the military. You stayed for 10 loooong years. Your first girlfriend’s name was Beth. Your second girlfriend was named Jennifer. You have a hard time saying I love you and _apparently_ being treated rough gets you hard. _Don’t_ backtalk me again, Sebastian. Do you understand?”

Swallowing, Sebastian nodded as best he could with Jim’s hand around his jaw, which prompted Jim to grip his face harder and speak with his teeth gritted, “Outloud, Moran.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“ _Thank you_ ,” He hissed before throwing Sebastian to his own side of the car, “Didn’t anyone teach you manners?”

* * *

Sebastian and Jim sat in silence on the scenic ride away from the countryside and to Sebastian’s flat. His mind raced the whole time with thoughts of shame, self-doubt, and the big question; Why was he so fucking horny right now? _What are you a fag now? Pathetic._ Sebastian's knuckles were turning white from how tightly he was making a fist. _Do you wanna suck his dick?_ Sebastian glanced Jim’s way just once during the ride but immediately stared back at the floor.

Wilson opened the door and that shook Sebastian from his thoughts. Jim got out and it wasn't till Sebastian reached for his bag that he realized it wasn't there. He snarled quietly to himself but managed to find some amount of manners inside of him since he’d already gotten himself into enough trouble. As he got out of the car, Sebastian didn’t bother to make eye contact with Wilson; He’d had enough embarrassment already. He was sure that he'd heard the conversation between the two of them. He kept his head down and followed Jim into the building and inside the elevator. “Moran, be a dear, it’s on floor 4.”

He reached over and pressed the button marked 4 before leaning his back against the wall of the elevator, finally speaking to Jim, “My bag is missing.”

Jim reached into his pocket and handed over a watch and a set of dog tags to Sebastian, “You’re getting new clothes.”

Letting out a chuckle, Sebastian took the watch and the dog tags, putting on both of them, “Lucky me.”

The elevator door opened to a short hallway and a brown door with a 4 on it. Jim stepped out of the elevator and to the door, pulling a set of keys out and unlocking it. Sebastian followed him inside and noticed that the place was already completely furnished and decorated like Jim _knew_ this was going to happen. Jim sat down on the couch, reaching back to jingle the keys at Sebastian and wave him over. He grabbed the keys and pocketed them before sitting down next to Jim.

“Now,” Jim spoke as he picked up the pen on top of the stack of papers that made up his contract and handed it to Sebastian, “Read through it if you want, but you’re not going to get a better deal. And then sign it. Easy. Would you like a drink, Sebastian?” Jim stood up and walked off into the kitchen.

More than anything, Sebastian wanted a drink. A lot of drinks. But it felt like a trap. Should he take the drink? Or was it a trick so that Jim could put him in his place again. Sebastian tried to concentrate on the contract and how to outsmart Jim, but it was too much. He eventually spoke, “God yes.” 

His hand gripped around the pen, waiting to hear Jim’s response. He said nothing, so Sebastian was left to simply read the contract. It was long, detailed, and thorough, which is what he’d expected. Jim didn’t seem the type to leave anything to chance. Sebastian got through a couple of pages, enough to see how much Jim would be paying him, before he eventually signed it, deciding that he would read the rest of it at some point.

Jim returned with a drink for the both of them, whiskey Sebastian guessed. He took the glass from Jim and noticed the pathetic amount at the bottom, clenching his teeth together but smiled at Jim. Sebastian thanked him, then drank half of the liquid (it was whiskey) in one go which was more self-control than he usually exhibited.

“Did you sign it?” Jim asked. He clearly had one thing on his mind.

“Yeah, but I was going to--” 

Sebastian was cut off by Jim taking the contract away from him and going straight to the page with his signature on it, “Oooh beautiful, that _is_ your signature, what a good boy you are. What was the nickname they gave you in college?”

Jim was being suspiciously nice to him, but at this point Sebastian has been suspicious of almost everything he'd done. He tried to relax, to just go with whatever Jim was doing or trying to do. It might just be easier to lie down and roll over, like the “good boy” he apparently was. Sebastian answered Jim after he took another sip of his whiskey, “Basher, but you already knew that.”

“Mmm I did, but I wanted to hear you say it. Good with your fists, right?” Jim smiled at Sebastian and touched his knuckles gently, lingering for a moment before taking his hand back.

“Right, from playing rugby,” He murmured, taken slightly off guard by the touch on his hand. All self-control left him as he finished the last of his drink greedily, setting the glass down on the table. _Is he flirting with you?_

“That’s right it was rugby. I saw pictures of you playing, young Sebastian Moran. Not the depressed out of shape man that served faaar too much time in the military,” Jim also finished his drink and then stood to his feet, still speaking as he walked into the kitchen once more, “You know you should really use sunscreen. I know you don’t care for your well being but Sebastian, your skin looks like shit.”

 _Why would he flirt with you? Does he think you’re gay? Are you gay? Is he gay?_ Sebastian’s knee bounced quickly but he kept his face neutral, not looking up at Jim when he returned. Jim placed a glass of what was clearly sparkling water down in front of Sebastian and then glanced at his watch, making an exaggerated frown before he voiced the issue, “Oh no, Basher where did the time go? I have to go, I have a dinner meeting to go to.”

Jim set a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder as he tucked the contract under his arm, leaning in close to whisper in his ear, “Have fun thinking about my hand wrapped around your jaw while your hand is wrapped around your cock.”

If Jim said anything to Sebastian while he was walking away, he didn’t hear it. He felt numb with conflicting emotions, sitting there on his couch staring at that fucking glass of sparkling water for what felt like hours before he eventually picked it up and threw it across his flat and into the kitchen where it came from. He shouted with rage before he sat down on the couch again, gripping onto his hair tightly while he mumbled to himself, “Fuck I need a drink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! More to come because I'm having a great time writing about these two.


	3. I think about you, but it's not the same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Won't somebody, please, give Sebastian a drink?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Shiver" by Maroon 5

It was time to find those drinks that he desperately needed. Sebastian quickly pushed himself off the couch and walked into the kitchen, opening every pantry and looking in every nook and cranny. There were plenty of other beverages in the fridge: bottled water, juice, electrolyte drinks. But not a drop of alcohol in the house. 

“Where the fuck!” Sebastian shouted, opening up the cabinet beneath the sink to look in the trash can. Sitting at the bottom were 2 miniature whiskey bottles. He let out a loud frustrated growl and pulled them out to inspect them further. Completely empty. He shoved the trash can back under the sink and slammed the cabinet closed. If he didn’t find something soon he felt like he was going to lose his mind; It was already going a mile a minute, telling him he was a no-good faggot.  _ You are going to think about him tonight, aren’t you? You liked how rough he was. You’re so fucking easy. _

Shattered glass crunched under Sebastian’s feet as he exited the kitchen, looking through the rest of the flat. He found his bedroom, which was clean with the bed made neatly. Sebastian pulled open every drawer in the room, finding clothes predominantly, but he found a small wad of cash in the drawer of the nightstand. There was a note on it from Jim that read: 

A signing bonus for you

Don’t spend it all in one place!

JM♥️

He wasn’t even here right now and Jim was still getting under Sebastian’s skin. He pocketed the cash, not bothering to count it, and then quickly left the flat, slamming the door behind him. Sebastian was fuming, he had an awful headache, and he was frighteningly sober. He tapped the down button on the elevator rapidly and chewed his fingernails as he waited for the door to open. It took fucking forever.  _ Do you think he's gonna try paying you for sex? _ He tapped it several times impatiently and the elevator finally dinged and opened for him.

He slammed his back against the wall after he pressed the G button and tried to control his breathing. Jim was having a horrible effect on him, the whole day just played in Sebastian’s mind over and over: The way Jim spoke to him, touched him, the way he was already in control of Sebastian. He was making Sebastian question his sexuality, something that he’d always been so sure about.  _ Why can't you stop thinking about your cock in his mouth? Do you want to put your cock in his mouth or are you afraid he'll make you? _ This was the closest that Sebastian had ever felt to panic, not even in all the times he had bullets whizzing by his head did he feel this much dread; Being shot at was among the few moments where he felt the most alive.

The elevator doors had barely slid open and Sebastian squeezed himself between them. He half jogged across the lobby space and shoulder checked the front door open, his eyes adjusting to the barely twilight outside. He looked left to right, trying to assess the area he was now living in, which he had never visited. Sebastian reached a slightly trembling hand into his pocket and retrieved his phone, open maps app to find the nearest pub. Lucky for him, it was only a couple of blocks away. “Finally, some good news,” he mumbled to himself, before pocketing his phone and walking quickly down the street.

* * *

He was winded from his jog over the pub, which made him realize that maybe working out every day  _ would _ be good for him. At least Moriarty was right about that. Sebastian hadn’t bothered to run in nearly 6 months. He pulled the door open and stepped inside, noticing that the clientele was definitely older than he was, and was almost silent when he walked in. Sebastian made eye contact with the bartender and made a beeline for him, pulling whatever bill in his pocket that he made contact with first. He slapped it on the counter and plead with the man, "Double shot of whiskey."

The old man looked at the fifty Sebastian pulled from his pocket and then up at him with a sympathetic look, before leaning in to speak quietly to him, "I'm sorry… I can't do that."

"What? Why not?"

The man swallowed and didn't speak for a moment, before he replied quietly once more, "You're Sebastian, right?"

"Sure am,  _ mate _ , why the fuck does that matter?" He could feel his face growing hot anger.

The old man hesitated before he answered, "M told me not to give you nothin’ but water if you came in," He could see that Sebastian was getting angrier, so he tried quickly to explain himself, "Look he funded me heart surgery, I owe him my life."

"I don't CARE about what he did for you, I want a goddamn drink!" Sebastian was shouting at this point and he didn't care that everyone was watching. He didn't care about anything. He had so many things on his mind that he just wanted something, anything to distract him.

The bartender looked incredibly scared in that moment, but he spoke anyway, "L-Look I can't help you, but there is an Alcoholics Anonymous meeti--"

Sebastian snatched the money back and then leaned in, pointing at the man and spitting out each word with malice, "Fuck! You! Fuck you!" Sebastian turned to the room full of people and shouted at them too, “Fuck the lot of you!”

He kicked a chair over as he stormed out of the building, ignoring the gasps from people behind him, before pushing the door open and stepping out onto the sidewalk. Sebastian let out a frustrated shout before making his way down the street till he’d found another pub.

* * *

After 12 blocks and 4 more pub rejections, Sebastian was left sober. Very sober. Not a single person would serve him a drink and all of them gave him sob stories about how Moriarty had helped them out. He was apparently a generous man because he’d paid for multiple heart surgeries and several new pieces of equipment at all of these pubs. Jim made absolutely sure that Sebastian  _ would not _ be able to get drunk, no matter how hard he tried. Sebastian sat down on a bench on the street and thought about how much of an idiot he was for not reading through that contract, or at least for not trying to take it back from Jim when he snatched it.  _ Maybe he was right to pity you. You are an idiot after all. _

Sebastian placed his hands on the back of his neck and tilted his head down, his elbows rested on his knees. He’d been drinking every single day for the last 3 months, he didn’t know what to do. He felt like he was going to be sick, or like he was already. He felt shaky and helpless, he fucking hated it. Sebastian took the crumpled fifty out of his pocket and stared at it, deciding to at least get himself something to eat; He’d seen that his kitchen was well stocked, but he wanted to give himself one night of “garbage” before Jim stripped him of everything that brought him joy.

Jim clearly didn’t have any fast food companies in his pocket, because Sebastian was able to order the most ridiculous burger money could buy, something incredibly American. He needed an outlet, so Sebastian jogged for as many blocks as he could until he felt winded and then ran more; He managed to make it all 12 blocks back to his building, finally stopping once he’d gotten inside the elevator.  _ Now _ he felt like he was going to be sick. He gripped his bag of food tightly and rested his forehead against the wall, panting heavily before dry heaving in the corner. He flailed an arm over toward the panel of buttons and managed to hit the 4, speaking to himself through heavy breaths, “Fucking...hell.” He really was out of shape.  _ What happened to you? Pathetic. _

He trudged into his flat and walked into his living room, setting his bag of food down on the coffee table. With his hand on his back, he walked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge, downing half of it in one go. Sebastian was mid chug when he noticed something new sitting on the counter: Two full miniature bottles of whiskey and a piece of paper that was folded in half. Water dribbled down Sebastian’s chin as he grabbed the note and opened it:

To go with your dinner

Try not to drink it all at once

JM ♥️

Sebastian shook his head as he tried to shake his breath, but he ended up laughing.  _ He knew what you were doing the whole time. Do you think he saw that tantrum you threw at that first pub? _ He continued to laugh, the absurdity of all this was really starting to get to him. How often does a manipulative mad man just  _ give _ you a job? And what shocked him was how much sway Jim Moriarty had  _ everywhere _ . He was the one pulling all of the strings. Sebastian didn’t know if that terrified him or just added to how horny he’d been this whole time. 

He folded up the note and slipped it into his pocket as he tried to figure out where the glasses were. Sitting on the counter was the glass that Jim had used, so he decided to just use that one.  _ You know he was never planning to stay after he gave you that water, right?  _ Sebastian inspected the glass; Jim had clearly rinsed it out after he’d used it. He shook his head and filled the glass with ice, ginger ale, and one of his precious bottles of whiskey. If he was gonna be limited he might as well make it last.  _ He wants you to use that glass. _

He took his bag of food and his drink and sat down on his couch and put it all down on his coffee table. Sebastian may have had a day full of suffering, but the reward was pretty good. This was a place where as long as he behaved himself, he’d be living really well. While he unwrapped his burger, Sebastian’s mind drifted to what Jim whispered in his ear. A shiver went down his spine and he took a large bite of his burger.  _ Are you gonna sit there with a hard cock the whole night?  _ Sebastian picked up his drink with his other hand and took a large sip. He knew there wasn’t enough liquor in the flat to make him forget masturbating while he thought about Jim. But he was thinking about doing it anyway.


	4. The potential of you and me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian just can't keep his hands off himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks if you've read the previous chapters, please know that i've upgraded from mature to explicit! You have been warned (but that's probably why you're here, right?)  
> Chapter title from "I Will Possess Your Heart" by Death Cab for Cutie

Sebastian stepped into his bedroom and pulled off his belt with mildly trembling hands. He'd been sitting on the couch the whole evening with a half chub, sipping his mixed drink slowly and thinking about Jim’s hot breath in his ear; It smelled clean with a hint of whiskey. Why couldn't he stop thinking about him? He'd never thought about another man before. Well, at least he’d never thought about another man for  _ this long _ . Who hadn’t thought about another man? Jim was different, he wasn't like other men. He wasn't like most other people, for that matter; Sebastian had learned at least that much from the few hours he'd spent with him.  _ You’re already obsessed with him, aren’t you? _

His cock throbbed in his jeans as he threw his belt onto his that was already made when he got there. " _ Have fun thinking about my hand wrapped around your jaw while your hand is wrapped around your cock. _ ” Jim’s words echoed in Sebastian’s head as he stared at his bed.  _ You really wanna get cum on your bed already? _ He thought better of it and instead walked into his bathroom to take a shower; He wasn't sure if he wanted it burning hot or freezing cold, either would be a good distraction. He shut the bathroom door and pulled his shirt off, tossing it on the floor. 

Sebastian stepped in front of the mirror and leaned in close to look at himself. He looked like shit, Jim wasn’t wrong; He’d gotten sunburned and wind-blasted in Afghanistan for the last 10 years and he was getting doughy around the middle. Not only that, but he scarred up all over. Not from bullets, but from adventures from throughout his life. A scar on his arm led to the story of hoping a fence when he was 16 to outrun the cops. More than one was from a knife fight he’d gotten into. Somebody was always trying to pick a fight with him.  _ Do you think Jim would pull a knife on you?  _ He shivered and gripped onto the edge of the bathroom counter, feeling winded from the thought but secretly wishing Jim would. Much like being shot at, knife fights made Sebastian feel alive.

“Get it together, Basher,” He mumbled to himself, taking a moment to breathe. Sebastian unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off along with his underwear in one go, kicking them over with his shirt. His dick was getting harder by the second but he ignored it for now as he went to the shower and turned it on. Sebastian placed his hand on the wall while he waited for the water to heat up, his other hand drifting to his cock. He snatched his hand back and finally got onto the shower.  _ Oh, you can’t even keep your hands off yourself. You’ve got it  _ _ bad _ _. _

Sebastian let the water run down his back as he stared down at his dick. He sucked in a breath before reaching his hand down and rubbed the tip of his cock lightly with his thumb. A groan escaped from his mouth that he had no chance of stifling. He needed to steady himself, so he set his free hand on the wall. Jim’s monologue about all the things he knew about Sebastian drifted through his mind, finished with the acknowledgment that “being treated rough gets you hard”. Sebastian gripped onto his cock with more trepidation than he’d ever had, stroking it slowly and once again letting out a noise that he couldn’t contain.

He hated this. He hated it so much but he wasn’t in a position where he could stop. He  _ had _ to cum, thinking about Jim or not.  _ I bet it would feel good to fuck him.  _ Sebastian moaned and faltered a little, resting his forearm on the wall to better hold himself up.  _ If you were good at it he’d probably give you a raise. _ His hand was curled tightly in a fist and the moans came from deep inside him, Sebastian’s other hand stroking himself fast and roughly.  _ He’d run a knife into you and call you a good boy once you came. _ His legs buckled underneath him as he came, Sebastian’s cum being quickly washed off the wall and down the drain.

As he caught his breath, Sebastian’s legs shook and he was quickly flooded with every thought of shame and guilt that he’d kept at bay for the last half an hour.  _ Wow, you are a faggot, look at that. Couldn’t even  _ _ try _ _ not thinking about your fucking boss.  _ Sebastian let out a frustrated growl and slammed his fist against the tile wall, over and over, until his knuckles went red. Grabbing the bottle of body wash that was nearby, Sebastian squirted a heaping amount into his hands and soaped down his whole body. 

This all felt like torture to him. It  _ was _ torture. Jim was obviously doing this on purpose. Like he had said, he knew everything about him. So Jim knew every button to push. Sebastian at least wished that he knew  _ how  _ Jim knew all of the ins and outs of his life.  _ Maybe he’s just your type. _ He didn’t want that to be true at all. If one of the only people that knew him well enough to turn him on  _ this much _ was his manipulative boss, he might just throw himself through his window and onto the street below.

He stood under the water for a long while before finally turning the shower off, and then he stood there for a while more. At that moment he wished that one of those bullets that sailed passed him in the war had instead made contact with his skull. That would have been preferable to this. Sebastian finally climbed out of the shower and grabbed a towel, doing a half-assed job of drying himself off. He simply dropped his towel on the floor and walked naked to his bed, crawling under the covers and pulling one of the pillows over his face.  _ I can’t believe you did that. _

* * *

An alarm that Sebastian definitely didn’t set went off at 6 am. He groaned loudly and reached around for whatever button he needed to snooze it, but there was none to be found. Sebastian was forced to get up and stumble through his room in the dark, finally finding the alarm clock across the room and slapping the off button. 

Sebastian was about to crawl back into bed when a phone that wasn't his rang nearby. His eyes were barely open but he still managed to find the phone in a drawer; The caller ID said "Boss". He took a deep breath, suddenly remembering last night's transgressions before answering it, "Hello?"

"Good morning, Moran. Put a suit on and come outside. You have 15 minutes." Jim's voice was there a moment and then gone. Sebastian felt like he was getting whiplash from the sudden swings in professionalism.

"Suit…" Sebastian mumbled before opening up the closet. The inside was filled with almost entirely suits, so that was easy enough. He remembered that Jim had said no jeans, so this all made perfect sense.  _ Yeah, but who's boss buys them a bunch of suits?  _ Sebastian pulled a suit out and looked over it.  _ An expensive suit, at that. _ It was a simple single-breasted black suit with a white button-up, but it was  _ definitely  _ expensive. He threw the suit on the bed and then found underwear, getting dressed quickly.

Stepping in front of the mirror, Sebastian had to admit that he didn't look half bad. He usually hated wearing a suit, it never fit right so he looked like shit and they just weren't comfortable. But it turns out if someone has your measurements (because that's obviously information Jim would have, why wouldn’t he?) then it's going to fit perfectly. He was tired but he was feeling good, confident almost. Sebastian sat on his bed to put a pair of satin black derby shoes on and then headed out the door, with 2 minutes to spare.

Waiting outside for him was a car much like the one from yesterday, black and nondescript with tinted windows. He opened the backdoor and there was Jim. Sebastian's confidence slipped as he remembered what he was dealing with. But he kept his cool, sitting down next to Jim and shutting the door.  _ He's still gonna see right through you. _ He ignored his thoughts and addressed Jim as the car drove off when Sebastian shut the door, "Good morning, Sir."

Jim was looking at his phone and hadn't moved or looked up since Sebastian got in the car, so he was starting to think he was ignoring him, but he eventually responded, "Good morning, Basher. Did you have a good night?"

Sebastian licked his lips and didn't bother looking in Jim's direction as he answered, "Yeah it was fine… Thanks for the whiskey."

"You're welcome. I shouldn't have done that since you  _ apparently  _ threw a fit at 5 different pubs. But what can I say, I'm generous and I didn't need you doing something stupid. Did you like the shower?"

He finally looked up at Jim to find that he was staring right back at him.  _ Oh, fuck he knows.  _ Sebastian rubbed his hand across the stubble on his jaw as he chose his words carefully, "Yes sir."  _ Keep things brief, don't let him get to you. _

Jim reached over and gave Sebastian a pat on the cheek, smirking up at him before he spoke, "Good. Keep on enjoying it," Jim stared at him for a long uncomfortable moment before suddenly becoming all business once more, "We're going to breakfast, then you're going to the gym, firing range, and you have a doctor’s appointment. Then I may join you for dinner. Understood, Moran?"

The transition away from talking about his shower was a welcome distraction for Sebastian. He was good at following directions, not talking about his personal life. He nodded and replied quickly, "Yes, Sir."

"Good. No talking till we get there."

Sebastian nodded again and pulled his phone out of his pocket so he wasn’t just staring dead-eyed out the window.  _ How does he know? He definitely knows, right?  _ He furrowed his brow in thought while he bounced his leg until he realized it. Cameras. There had to be cameras in his flat, how else would he know when Sebastian wasn't in the flat yesterday to leave the whiskey there? And the comment about the shower couldn't be a coincidence, could it? Sebastian started chewing off his fingernails without realizing it.

The car slowed to a stop in front of a small bistro and Jim motioned for Sebastian to open the door. Sebastian pocketed his phone and opened the door, holding it open for Jim and then closing it once he was out. He stayed one step behind Jim and nearly ran into him when he realized that he was waiting for Sebastian to open the door to the restaurant. He mumbled a quick apology and then opened the door for Jim.  _ You’re the fucking worst at this. Pretend he’s your girlfriend, that might help. _

He followed after Jim to their seats, which were as far from other people as they could possibly be, so that was nice. Following the advice of his inner self-hatred, he pulled out Jim’s seat like he  _ was _ his girlfriend. There was a pleasantly surprised look on Jim’s face when he did so, “Moran, did you finally learn some manners?”

“You could say that,” Sebastian replied as he sat down in his own seat opposite Jim. He was so busy thinking about the fact that Jim likely had cameras all over his flat to think about the fact he now had to have breakfast with the man.  _ You’re cracking under the pressure. _

Jim could obviously tell that Sebastian was stressing out, which is what he wanted, but he still set a hand on Sebastian’s arm, speaking to him quietly, “Sebastian, try to relax before you ruin my breakfast. What’s gotten you so wound up?” 

The hand on Sebastian’s arm made it hard to think and so instead of keeping things brief like he’d told himself to do, he spoke impulsively to him, “Do you have cameras in my flat?”

A grin crept onto Jim’s face as he rubbed his thumb against Sebastian’s arm, “What makes you think I would do something like that, dear Basher?”

Sebastian leaned in and spoke quietly, "Do not  _ bullshit me.  _ You knew  _ exactly  _ when I wasn't in the flat and you're--" He took in a deep frustrated breath to keep himself from blowing up at Jim too much, "Stupid comment about the shower."

The grin stayed on Jim's face as he gave Sebastian a small pat on the arm before taking his hand back, "See? I knew I hired you for a reason."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo thanks for reading! I hope that you enjoyed it, any feedback y'all might have would be appreciated. I'm new to writing and this is the first published piece of smut I've written so, yeah!  
> I've written the next chapter and a half already I'm just editing them. I haven't decided where this is gonna end so we'll see by the next chapter how about that? Cool love y'all  
> also, his shoes aren't actually satin. They're medium shiny shoe and satin finish is what it was called when I worked at a paint store. lemme know if that's right or not.


	5. One step ahead and always in control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast with Jim reveals some things to Sebastian that he wasn't quite prepared to deal with.

Sebastian stared at Jim in disbelief at his answer that could hardly be considered an answer.  _ "See,  _ _ I knew I hired you for a reason. _ _ " _ That meant nothing, that wasn't an answer. That was Jim dancing around the subject just to make Sebastian sweat because where would be the fun in giving him a direct answer? He clenched his fist and then questioned Jim once more through gritted teeth, "That doesn't... Answer my question,  _ Jim." _

Jim wasn't paying attention at this point, he was too busy making himself a cup of tea; He put in three sugar cubes and a little milk, but if you asked him how he liked his tea, he’d say he only put in one sugar and a little milk. While he stirred it peacefully, Sebastian fumed at the other side of the table. His hand gripped onto the table cloth and he was about to disrupt the entire restaurant by shouting at Jim, but he finally answered, "I don't hire people unless they're smart and not many people are smart enough to know when they're being watched, Sebastian. I need a second in command that won’t be easily outmaneuvered,” He sipped his tea and let out a pleased noise, “Satisfied?”

He was taken aback by the explanation; Sebastian couldn’t think of a time in his life when anyone called him smart. He was more regularly described as stupid, stubborn, or boorish, two of which  _ were _ true; He'd fight a lot of dumb shit with his dying breath and could be pretty fucking rude. But Jim seemed to understand him better than most other people. He understood that his intelligence manifested itself in very specific ways. He was a strategist, which is exactly what Jim was looking for. Some might say they were perfect for each other.

Sebastian realized that despite the flattery, which he liked, it still didn’t really directly answer his question, but he let it go, getting a small smirk on his face as he spoke, “Yeah, for now.”

He had to give it to himself, Sebastian was keeping up with Jim. He was always one step behind him, but at least he was keeping up. Being second to Moriarty might not be so bad, he seemed to be a man that should be feared and respected; Sebastian had seen the way pub owners talked about Moriarty the night before. He liked the idea of some of that rubbing off onto him. 

Sebastian was pouring himself a cup of tea when he thought of a question, “Sir, what exactly is my job?”

“Whatever I tell you to do,” Jim responded while he continued to drink his tea.

A waiter set down a "healthier" version of an English breakfast in front of Sebastian that he didn't order. _ One step ahead and always in control _ . “Well, that’s vague,” Sebastian retorted as he picked up a fork and speared it through the runny yolk of his over-easy egg, using his wheat toast to soak it up.

“Yes because I don’t want to detail every single thing you’re going to do, Moran. That would take entirely too long and I’m already bored with this.  _ Relax  _ before I make you _ , _ ” Jim explained before he picked up his phone, full content to ignore Sebastian at this point.

Sebastian growled quietly but decided to give it up, he didn’t feel like pushing it at this point. Besides, the silence gave him time to organize the things he knew to be true: There were cameras in his flat and Jim  _ knew _ that he turned Sebastian on in some capacity. He struggled with admitting it, but Sebastian couldn’t hide from what he’d done the night before, the way his mind wouldn’t let go of those thoughts about Jim.  _ Does that mean you like  _ _ him _ _?  _ Sebastian furrowed his brow in thought. Did he? Well no, at this point Sebastian felt something closer to hate for Jim. He was obsessed with him, sure. But he didn’t  _ like _ him. Just because you want another man to stab you when you’re having sex, doesn’t mean you like him.

_ Are you gay? _ The big question. Was he gay? That couldn’t be right because he’d had sex with women exclusively and  _ liked it _ . And this was the first instance of Sebastian  _ ever _ being this preoccupied with another man, so it wasn’t like he wanted to go around sucking every dick he could get his mouth on. He didn’t want that at all. But Jim got his pulse racing in ways he’d never experienced.  _ You’re not completely a faggot, so what the fuck is up? _ . If he wasn’t gay then what was it? It wasn’t until Jim had grabbed onto Sebastian’s face that he realized he had been zoned out for a while.

“There he is. Eat your breakfast, Moran. I’m not paying you to have an internal crisis, you do that on your own time,” Jim ordered, but his voice and his grip on Sebastian’s face were softer than they’d been before. His mouth was left hung open as he made eye contact with Jim, unable to look away.  _ Are you sure you don't like him? _ Jim smiled a pleasant smile at him and let go of his jaw before tapping Sebastian's plate, “Eat.”

Sebastian swallowed and nodded, mumbling, “Yes, Sir...Sorry.”

Jim watched Sebastian eat his breakfast with a pathetic look on his face like someone had told him a riddle that he had no chance of ever solving. He made a quiet frustrated noise and then explained to Sebastian, “Basher, I know that you’ve been living in the desert for the last 10 years, but have you never heard about bisexuality?”

He furrowed his brow and looked up at Jim while he chewed on the single piece of sausage the breakfast plate offered.  _ Oh, that is a thing, isn’t it?  _ Sebastian chewed his food completely before he answered Jim, “I did… How did you know --” He cut himself off and remembered who he was dealing with, “Nevermind… Why do you care?”

“I don’t, I just didn’t want you to get a brain aneurysm,” Jim finished off his cup of tea and then set it down on the saucer, “You’re not going to die, Moran. As much as you seem to think you will, you’re not going to. At least not from realizing you like men. You’re not in high school or the military or at home. You’re working for  _ me. _ ”

Somehow, Jim’s words eased Sebastian and he started to feel relief for the first time in the last couple of days. Maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as he thought it was. It was a lot to think about though. He wasn't expecting to think about his sexuality at the age of 32, but there he was. Sebastian didn't speak, he simply ate his breakfast and thought. He occasionally looked up at Jim, who was absorbed by something on his phone. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad?

* * *

He didn't get back to his flat till nearly 6 pm. Turns out the gym, firing range, and a doctor's appointment all take 2 hours apiece. His work out was extensive and it left his legs and arms and his everything sore. But it didn't stop because he had to do target practice over and over again, doing way better than he expected; His hands were shaky but he still managed an abundance of bullseyes. Then the doctor's appointment ended up being every single test they could possibly give someone. They collected his blood, piss, saliva, and shit. Everything, but nobody would tell him his results. 

Sebastian pushed the door open and threw a duffle bag of gym clothes his trainer gave him in the direction of his bedroom. He pulled off his suit jacket and was about to unbutton his shirt, but he stopped because seated on his couch was Jim. He turned back to look at Sebastian, giving him an inviting smile, "Hang your jacket up and then get plates and glasses, Sebastian."

_ What's he doing here? _ Sebastian walked into his bedroom and hung up his jacket and then walked to the kitchen, catching a glimpse of Jim opening up the bags of food. He grabbed glasses and plates for both of them and asked Jim, "What's all this about?"

When Sebastian got to the couch and set the glassware down, Jim was flipping through a small stack of papers that were stapled together. He looked up at Sebastian and beamed at him before he finally answered his question, "This is a celebration, Sebby! I'm impressed, you're in surprisingly good health. You're still a good shot and you've got no nasty diseases," He grabbed the glasses and popped open a bottle of whiskey, not a couple of minis, a bottle that would last an evening and then some, "So enjoy."

Sebastian watched Jim pour two glasses of whiskey and then slide one over to him. He licked his lips and stared at the drink, but he waited.  _ Take it easy, you wanna make a good impression. _ Jim handed a plate to him and Sebastian loaded it with Indian food from the take out containers on the coffee table, questioning him as he did, "Are you actually going to stick around this time?"

Jim picked up a plate and got himself a little of everything, speaking before he ate, "That depends, Moran."

The whiskey was all too tempting so Sebastian reached over and grabbed his glass, taking a decent drink. He left out a satisfied groan and leaned back on his couch. "On what?" He asked, turning to look at Jim.

"I'll let you know," Jim said, picking up his drink and holding it up for a second in a toasting motion, "Drink up, Basher."

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Shout out to the folks that have bookmarked this story, y'all are the best!  
> I'm partway through writing the next chapter, which is pretty explicit and I'll be updating the archive warnings because it gets a little dubious in terms of consent. But yeah stay tuned for that I guess!  
> Any feedback would be great!


	6. So get drunk, call me a fool, put me in my place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim's intentions for the evening are revealed, and Sebastian suffers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings and tags have been updated to reflect the subject matter of this chapter. There are situations of dubious consent ahead  
> Chapter title from "Good Grief" by Bastille

The two of them spent the whole evening drinking and eating while Sebastian animatedly told Jim stories from his life, most of which Jim already knew but he didn't bother stopping him because it was better coming from Sebastian rather than the people Jim had tricked into telling the same stories. Occasionally Jim would put his hand on Sebastian arm or leg and the drunker they got, the less Sebastian cared. 

Jim was still in control of how much Sebastian was drinking, which was for the best because if Sebastian had his way, he would've been blackout drunk at this point like he usually was this time of night. But he was just drunk enough to be coherent and loose, just where Jim wanted him to be.

They had sat in silence for a couple of minutes, Sebastian laying down on his couch with a couple of his top shirt buttons undone while Jim was seated in the armchair next to him with one leg crossed over the other, having taken off his suit jacket and tie an hour ago. Jim lulled his head over and asked Sebastian, "What was it you liked about…” He stopped speaking for a moment before continuing, “Jennifer?" Jim was clearly unsure if he'd gotten the name of Sebastian's ex right but he didn’t care if he got it wrong.

"Incredible ass and she slapped me when I got her riled up," He replied, swirling his whiskey around in its glass. 

Jim made a small "huh" noise, clearly deciding something, and then took a sip of his drink before setting it down on the table. He looked Sebastian up and down and then spoke, "Sebastian."

"Yeah?"

"I think it's time you fuck me."

Sebastian laid still for a moment before he registered what he'd just heard. He furrowed his brow and sat up just enough to get a better look at Jim, "What did you say?"

"You heard me, Moran. Fuck me."

He chuckled, finished off his whiskey, and then settled back on the couch, "No, I'm not gonna do that Jim, no offense."

Jim glared at the back of his head before leaning over and grabbing a fist full of Sebastian's hair, pulling his head to the side so they were making eye contact, "First off I am offended. And secondly, I don't  _ care _ what you want Sebastian. You do what I tell you, remember? Why do you think I stayed this late?"

Sebastian stared back at Jim with eyes wide.  _ Oh fuck, he's serious. _ He may have been drunk but that in no way prepared Sebastian for this. He’d had plenty of drunk sex at this point, but he wasn’t ready for it to be Jim, despite how much he wanted it deep down. He grabbed onto Jim's arm and pushed him off before moving to his feet, "What makes you think I want to?"

Jim stood up and spoke while he advanced on Sebastian, who backed into the armrest of the couch and stumbled but kept moving toward the kitchen, "Sebastian Moran do not pretend you didn't spend a whole evening in this flat by yourself trying not to masturbate and then failing, miserably I might add, to not jerk off in your shower. I  _ know _ you want to fuck me."

Sebastian backed himself up until he reached the kitchen island and Jim stopped following. He had thought about fucking him, it's true. But he still didn't want to admit it. He hated Jim. Except, not really. Sebastian was obsessing over him at this point to a degree he wasn’t even aware of. He licked his lips and hit his fist on the dark granite counter a couple of times in frustration before he said, "And if I still say no?"

Jim moved toward Sebastian again and he was unable to get away, but he didn’t try very hard to. Sebastian braced himself on the kitchen counter and when he was close enough, Jim set his hand on Sebastian's jaw and leaned in close to whisper in his ear, "You can't because it's in your contract."

_Shit._ The contract he signed. That fucking contract was going to haunt Sebastian for the rest of his life. Of course it was in there, why wouldn't it be? Sebastian kicked himself for not reading through it. It dictated every single thing he would be forced into doing, but all he could bother to do was see how much money he'd be making (it was a lot).

_ He could be lying though _ . There was always the possibility and he certainly wouldn't put it past Jim; He was the one with all the power so why wouldn't he abuse it? He grabbed onto Jim's wrist but didn't pull it away from his face, clearing his throat before speaking in a low voice, "You're lying."

"I could be. Does it matter? I won't tell anyone, it'll be our little secret," Jim pulled his hand away from his face and patted the countertop that Sebastian was sandwiched against, "Sit."

"On the counter?"

"Yes! I'm not going to ask you again, Sebastian,  _ sit. _ "

Sebastian swallowed and then hopped up on the island where Jim promptly pulled off Sebastian's belt and unbuttoned his pants. He groaned as he felt himself getting hard. Well,  _ harder _ , he didn't realize how turned on he was from getting threatened and chased around. Jim threw Sebastian slacks and underwear across the room and onto the couch before taking off his own clothes. He quickly crawled on top of Sebastian, pushing him onto his back.

_ Oh fuck oh fuck... _ He stared up at Jim as he reached for the olive oil that was on the counter.  _ He wants to get fucked by you so badly he’s gonna use olive oil as lube? _ Jim poured some into his palm and then stroked it onto Sebastian’s hard cock without ceremony, a ragged breath escaping from his mouth. He only touched his dick long enough to lube it up and then Jim promptly lowered himself onto it, an aroused look on his face that Sebastian didn’t expect.  _ Wait, he actually enjoys things? _

This all felt incredible and that frustrated Sebastian to no end, the feeling of his cock inside of Jim making him shudder with pleasure. He’d had good sex plenty of times in his life, hell he’d had anal a few times too and that was great, but this was definitely different. Jim knew what the fuck he was doing  _ at all times _ and somehow that just turned on Sebastian more. He was here to ride his dick and that was it, Sebastian be damned. And he was  _ sure _ this wasn’t the first time Jim had rode someone’s dick because he was clearly an expert.

“O-Oh come on, Basher, you’re lucky I’m letting you enjoy this,” Jim moaned as he gripped onto Sebastian’s open shirt to steady himself. 

_ Fucking hell that’s good,  _ he thought as he put his hands on Jim’s thighs. Sebastian did feel lucky to enjoy this since all of his thoughts of self-hatred had drifted away, leaving him as just a horny mess. He watched Jim’s movements as his cock disappeared inside of him more and more, thrusting his hips in motion with Jim’s, which he seemed to love. Jim got an aroused smirk on his face as he gripped onto Sebastian’s jaw, who stared dumbly up at him.

“Oh, that’s my good boy,” Jim cooed at Sebastian, his thumb gliding over his bottom lip. Sebastian moaned loudly while Jim quickened his pace, his grip tightening on Sebastian’s face. He felt used and  _ liked it _ , content to be there as a cock when Jim needed him. That  _ was _ what he was for, clearly. Jim hired him as a right-hand man but also a good fuck when he needed it. Sebastian didn’t care, he just bucked his cock further and further into Jim who seemed to pay him very little mind.

“Moran if you cum in me, I will kill you!” Jim shouted as his moans got loud and more akin to a scream, his nails digging into Sebastian’s face.

If Jim’s intentions weren’t for Sebastian to cum in him, then he made a big mistake. His already tired legs shook and his back arched as he orgasmed, which only made Jim grab his face tighter. Jim’s nails dug so far into Sebastian’s face that it broke the skin as he orgasmed, his cum landing on Sebastian’s button-up that neither of them bothered to take off. Jim was a loud orgasmer, more ear-piercing than Sebastian expected him to be; He figured Jim would be the type to masturbate silently on a bed of money. 

Jim looked amazing at that moment, almost heavenly, despite the fact that he did just cum on Sebastian; He couldn’t figure out why. Maybe it was the way he had gripped his jaw so tightly as he orgasmed, Sebastian dreaming about it again while Jim climbed off of him with a small moan.  _ You  _ _ do _ _ like him.  _ Sebastian was unsure if the floating feeling in his head was from the whiskey or sex.

“What did I JUST tell you?!” Jim shouted as he stepped onto the floor, leaving Sebastian still laying on the counter. He could hear Jim saying something else as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door, but he’d zoned out.

Finally, Sebastian sat up with a groan, looking down at the cum that was still on his shirt.  _ That’s not yours. _ The thought punched him in the gut. He’d felt like the wind got knocked out of him as he realized what exactly happened.  _ What did you do? _ He very quickly hopped off the counter, hanging onto it for a moment, before unbuttoning his shirt with unsteady hands. 

“Whaaat the fuck,” He mumbled to himself as he threw the shirt onto the floor.  _ Hey did you really just have sex with a man on your kitchen counter? _ He’d recalled the night before when he was in the elevator and how much panic the felt over Jim’s whispered words. This was worse, this was way worse. He mumbled “what the fuck” over and over all the way back to the living room, where he sat naked on the couch. Sebastian could hear the shower running in the background as he quickly downed the rest of his drink, his hands definitely shaking. 

Why did he do that? Why did he let it happen? Why did he want it to happen? Was it okay that he wanted it to happen? Did Jim know Sebastian was gonna fuck him? Sebastian reached across the table and took the drink that Jim hadn’t finished, downing it himself. Why was he so willing to have sex with a man he had built so much contempt for in only 2 days.  _ Fuck, it’s only been two days. _ He reached across the table and grabbed the bottle of whiskey, pouring himself a very large drink.

* * *

When Jim returned 30 minutes later to the living room fully dressed and his hair pristine, Sebastian was still sitting naked on the couch. The glass of whiskey was to his lips but he wasn’t drinking it, he was simply staring out the window at the skyline. Jim sat down on the armchair he’d been seated in the rest of the evening and spoke to Sebastian, “I told you not to cum in me and  _ what  _ did you do?”

He said nothing, still staring out the window, but he quickly drank all of the whiskey that was in his glass and set it on the table. Sebastian’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions he didn’t understand; A volatile mixture of revulsion, embarrassment, anger, and relief. He  _ liked  _ being chased around and then ridden on the kitchen counter. He  _ liked _ that Jim did that and had the power over him but that made him so unbelievably angry. Sebastian finally broke the silence simply to say, “Fuck you.” 

“You already did you, Moran. You're disgusting and I’m leaving. And I'm docking your pay because I  _ told _ you not to cum in me," Jim said before standing to his feet, but Sebastian grabbed onto his wrist and held onto it  _ hard _ .

"Don't you  _ dare _ leave," Sebastian said with an even voice, though that wasn't going to last long. How dare he try to leave after all this. Just walk into the living room fully dressed and clean after forcing Sebastian to have sex with him? After all the manipulative and controlling bullshit he'd put Sebastian through? He pulled Jim back down into his seat and said, "Sit down and shut up for a fucking second."

Jim almost looked impressed but the dominant emotion was annoyed. However, he still sat down and didn't say anything. Sebastian let go of Jim’s wrist and ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a frustrated groan, his voice not as calm as it was just a moment ago, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you  _ like _ torturing me? You do, right? You must because you've said exactly the wrong things," He laughed but it wasn't because any of this was funny. He laughed cause it felt like he was going insane, "I've felt like I haven't been able to breathe since I met you and I fucking hate it. You control  _ everything _ and you're powerful and I can't..."

Sebastian was drunk at this point and so the words just flowed out of him; Drunk words are sober thoughts as they say. It was all of the things that he'd kept inside his head in those moments where he was forced to just sit and think, which was a lot in the last couple days. He still couldn't admit that he couldn't get enough of Jim though.

A slight smile tugged on a corner of Jim's mouth while he watched Sebastian, clearly amused with how pathetic he looked. Jim stood to his feet and pet Sebastian hair, but Sebastian quickly grabbed his wrist again. 

"Sebastian. I only torture you because it's fun to piss you off," He replied with a laugh and  _ that _ pissed off Sebastian, who pulled Jim onto the couch with him and then grabbed onto his throat with one hand. Jim got this wide-eyed look on his face like an excited wild animal that saw its prey in the distance.

"I fucking hate you, Jim! I hate you  _ so _ much that I could just strangle you right now, holy shit!" He shouted at Jim, who still stared up at him with excitement in his eyes. Sebastian gripped his neck tighter and shouted again, “You think you can just walk into my life, be a charming shit bag, and get away with it? Fuck you!”

Sebastian stared down at Jim with his hand around his neck. He didn’t know what to do now.  _ If you kill him, you won’t have a job. _ Why would that be a bad thing? At least then he wouldn’t have to deal with this torture every day of his life.  _ We both know you don’t want him dead _ . Sebastian finally let out a loud frustrated growl and let go of Jim’s neck, who coughed a little cause Sebastian really wasn’t holding back. The two of them sat up on opposite sides of the couch, Jim watching Sebastian while he gripped onto his hair. 

The two of them sat quietly on opposite ends of the couch for a moment, before Jim stood to his feet and stepped in front of Sebastian, pushing his shoulder so he was sitting up and crawling on his lap again as he’d done only a half an hour earlier. He lightly grabbed Sebastian’s face and looked over the claw marks on his jaw, “Moran…”

He stared back at Jim with bleary eyes and a headache that was rapidly approaching. Sebastian felt like absolute garbage and it was exceedingly obvious to Jim. He rubbed his cheek with his thumb and then kissed him slowly, intimately, in a way that showed so much of his power over Sebastian. 

“Go to sleep, Sebastian,” Jim insisted as he climbed off Sebastian’s lap again. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey, ran his fingers through Sebastian’s hair, and then left without saying anything else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sebastian's got it bad right now and will continue to for the rest of his life with Jim.  
> I don't know if needs to be said but I don't condone the actions of either of these two. Just because I write this doesn't mean I think it's good or healthy. But I would hope Mormor fans would know that by now!  
> Feel free to follow me on Twitter and say hi, I'm @butchsquatch on there as well!


	7. I was damned from the very start and bound by a crooked plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian tries to impress Jim even though he'd rather not and talks about his feelings when he's not drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Never Forgive Never Forget" by The Dear Hunter

Sebastian didn't bother to move from the couch when Jim left, the trails of where Jim's fingers had gone through his hair still intact. He was hit hard by a wave of exhaustion from all the running around he had to do that day, so Sebastian drunkenly curled up naked on the couch. His head throbbed as he stared out the window again, wondering as he'd done before if he should just throw himself through his window.  _ Not now. _ Instead, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

He awoke again at 5 am with a full-on headache and nausea that made him stumble swiftly but with very little grace to his bathroom. Luckily, Sebastian made it in time and hurled in the toilet. A new occasion for him, because he usually threw up on the alley behind the 3rd pub of the night after a bad combo of fish and cheap whiskey. Sebastian flushed and shut the lid of the toilet before flopping over onto his back on the stone bathroom floor. The cool rock against his back brought him a small amount of relief from the throbbing in his head.

Staring up at the ceiling, Sebastian thought about where the cameras must have been in his flat. He wondered where they might have been in his bathroom so that the whole room could be seen.  _ Right corner, you can see the whole room and inside the shower _ . Sebastian put it on his to-do list to try to find them and rip them out. He lifted his hand and made a V with his fingers to say fuck you to whoever might have been watching his feed; He hoped it was Jim.

_ Fuck, Jim. _ His mind wandered to Jim and what had happened the night before; The way he screamed when he orgasmed and how he confidently pursued Sebastian across the flat. Sebastian shuddered and sat up with a groan, before getting off the floor and opening the medicine cabinet. He pulled out a bottle of aspirin that was in there, popped two into his mouth, and swallowed them with a palm-full of water from the faucet. Looking himself over in the mirror, Sebastian noticed the marks left on his face from Jim’s nails digging into his skin. They weren’t noticeable unless you were looking, but they ached enough for Sebastian to be reminded of the bullshit he’d been put through.

He didn’t want to be reminded so he brushed his teeth quickly and made his way into his bedroom, pulling out the gym clothes from his bag and changing into those. It was already close to 6 am so Sebastian decided to make himself breakfast. Healthy breakfast, something Jim would have been proud of.  _ Stop thinking about him. _ Sebastian stood in the kitchen with his mug of tea in one hand and a plate of food in the other, unsure where to go. The kitchen reminded him of Jim’s dick and the living room brought up the evening they shared just drinking and telling stories. Sebastian decided to eat breakfast in his bedroom.

While he ate his breakfast, Sebastian went through his phone, the one that he’d found in the drawer the day before. No text messages or voicemails. It was already 6 am and this time there was no alarm that went off. _You must be in trouble or something._ Sebastian found his email, with a whole new address that someone must have made for him; Even criminals need to send an email every once a while. No emails either. He furrowed his brow and finished off his breakfast quickly. What was he gonna do? He had to do something, right? It wasn’t like Jim would like him sitting around doing nothing all day; He definitely wouldn’t pay Sebastian for _that._ _You’re still thinking about him._

Sebastian grumbled and put on his athletic shoes before grabbing his phone and keys, running out the door. A run would do him good, something to distract him. He could listen to music and run himself till he ached more than he already did. It was only dawn so the sun was just barely starting to rise, the skies still closer to darker blue than the orange of sunrise. Sebastian shuffled his music and was only half a block into the run when the song he’d chosen reminded him of Jim. He skipped it and to his dismay, the next song reminded him of Jim too. With a frustrated groan, he took off his headphones and shoved them back into his pocket before just running to the soundtrack of the city waking up.

He ran for miles around town, Sebastian's mind simply focused on moving his body forward. It hurt like hell but that's what he wanted right now; Anything to take his mind off Jim and how desperate he was to please him.  _ You know you’re doing  _ _ this _ _ to impress him, right? _ And he was, it's true. Sebastian was blaming himself for Jim not being there or giving him a schedule for the day. Why did he care so much? It should be a good thing he didn’t have to deal with Jim. But him not being there felt like a punishment. Sebastian guessed what it might have been that pissed his boss off the most; He figured it was either cumming in him or choking him, maybe a combo of both.

Sebastian ended up at a park that was slowly being populated by middle-aged women showing up for their speed walking group. He shoved his face into the water fountain, kicking himself for not bringing the bottle his trainer had given him yesterday. Sebastian was notoriously bad at taking care of himself; He’d go for long periods of time in the military where he’d forget to eat when he was too focused on cleaning his equipment or making sure a mission went successfully. His sense of self-preservation was close to nonexistent.  _ Take care of yourself and maybe Jim will come back. _

With a pained groan, Sebastian sat down on a bench and caught his breath. He was so convinced that Jim wasn’t going to come back.  _ Why wouldn’t he come back? He loves torturing you. _ Except Sebastian knew full well that Jim didn’t need to be there to get under his skin. He was doing it  _ right now _ . Sebastian let out a long exhale as he rubbed the marks that Jim left on his face. He still felt nauseous, but Sebastian wasn’t sure if that was the hangover, the run he really wasn’t prepared for, or the events of the night before. As he stared down at the ground, Sebastian felt someone sit down next to him on the bench. He glanced sideways to see who it was and behold, there was Wilson, the man that had driven Sebastian to his first meeting with Jim two days earlier.

Sebastian chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck as his sweat dripped on the ground while he spoke, “I’m either in no trouble or the most trouble.”

“Somewhere in the middle, to be honest,” Wilson replied as he scratched his salt and pepper beard, “I don’t know the specifics but he wanted you to talk to someone about being gay, so here I am.”

_ You’re fucking kidding me.  _ “Cool, I’m not gay.”

“I know I know, you’re bisexual, sorry. Regardless, there are overlapping experiences and it's hard when you first figure it out. It’s okay to --”

Sebastian let out the longest groan that interpreted Wilson and sat up, pressing his back against the bench, “I do nooooot want to have this fucking conversation, mate.”

“He thought you might say that,” Wilson said with a chuckle as he pulled his phone out his sweatpants. He spent a moment pulling up his email and showing it to Sebastian. Sighing loudly, Sebastian looked at the screen and read the email:

Dexter,

Sebastian Moran has come out as bisexual, I need you to speak with him. It’s obvious he’s helpless when it comes to his feelings and how to navigate them. I’m going to be out of the country for the next week otherwise, I would do it myself. Don’t let Moran get out of talking to you. Let him know he won’t receive any compensation for his training until he does.

JM 

_ Well, that explains why he’s not here. _ A week? Jim was going to be gone for a week? What country? Why? Jim was just gonna abandon him for a week and make somebody else deal with Sebastian? And the fucking nerve of him to make Sebastian have this stupid conversation or he’d withhold his pay. Sebastian was staring at the screen with gritted teeth for longer than he would have actually needed to read the message, so Wilson pulled his phone away and pocketed it. He could clearly tell Sebastian was frustrated, so he tried to calm him down, “He’s a busy man and we’re going to be working together anyway so you might as well.”

“Look, Wilson--”  
“You can just call me Dexter.”

“Dexter, whatever. Can’t you just tell him that I talked to you and then I don’t have to deal with this?” Sebastian asked as he got up from the bench to get another gulp of water from the fountain next to him.

“Afraid not. I’d prefer not to get mixed up in lying to  _ Moriarty _ and I honestly do care about you and what you’re dealing with. It’s hard to figure all of this out by yourself.”

Sebastian wiped away the water that dribbled down his chin with his sweatshirt sleeve before he sat down, slumping on the bench with the look of a child that wasn’t happy about having to get all of their shots in one day. He stayed quiet for a long moment before finally opening up, “My brain won’t shut the fuck up. It’s just every  _ fucking _ moment is about how I’m a pathetic… faggot or whatever. And to top all this shit off I can’t stop thinking about…” He stopped speaking and realized his hands were clenched into fists, his one true tell. Sebastian realized he was going to have to admit to Dexter what was happening between him and Jim if this conversation was going to continue

But Dexter beat him to the punch, “Jim, right? I had heard the conversation between the two of you in the car...”

_ Of course he did. _ Sebastian remembered the ride with Jim to his flat a couple of days prior, the way he held onto Sebastian’s jaw, which was the catalyst for these few days of madness. He sucked in a breath before he spoke, “Yeah, Jim... I don’t fucking want it to be him but here I am, going on runs and eating a healthy breakfast just to impress him. I’m fucked, plain and simple,” Sebastian bounced his leg on the ball of his foot and stayed quiet for a second before confessing, “You know I thought about throwing myself out the big wall of windows in my flat but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. I thought about him looking at my brains splattered on the sidewalk with the idea in his head that he’d beaten me and I'm sure as shit not gonna let that happen.”  _ I can take way more torture than he thinks I can.  _

“Good call…Hey I’m supposed to take you to the shooting range, do you want company?” Dexter asked, with a concerned look on his face. 

Sebastian considered Dexter’s proposal, obviously weighing his options, and then shrugged, “Sure, why not. You any good?”

Dexter chuckled and stood up to stretch himself out, “I’m not 3rd in the chain of command for nothing, Moran.”

* * *

The two of them spent the day together, their time going beyond the shooting range, where the two found out they had comparable skill with a gun, and onto shitty pub food and a reasonable amount of drinks. Dexter ended up being a decent guy with plenty of his own stories to tell Sebastian. They talked about their past adventures, not stopping at any gory details; Both had the experience of seeing bits of brain and bone shoot out the back of someone’s head. At the end of the night, Dexter got Sebastian a ride that wasn’t him; Dexter Wilson may have been a criminal but he wasn’t going to let Sebastian die in a drunk driving accident.

Sebastian stumbled into his loft with a light buzz to find… absolutely nothing had changed. There were no gifts on the counter and no Jim in his living room. It was just him.  _ Well, what did you expect? He’s gone for the whole week.  _ Sebastian shook his head and went into his kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water and drinking it down in one go. He wasn’t going to see Jim for a week. Why did that upset him so much? It felt like a punishment but Sebastian knew it was just for business.  _ You only got a taste of him and you want more. _ He quickly filled his glass up with water once more and drank it quickly before moving into his room. Sebastian kicked his shoes in the direction of the front door and pulled off his clothes.

He crawled under the covers and he was forced to face the fact that he did want more of Jim. The sex they had, as traumatic as it may have been, was amazing and he wanted more. He wanted to dig his claws into Jim and make him scream again. _Maybe that’s why he’s leaving you alone for a week._ That must be why. Sebastian figured Jim wanted him to sweat and pine after him so that when he came back Sebastian would be happily waiting to fuck him. At this point, he would be. Sebastian was getting harder the more he thought about fucking Jim again, so he quickly masturbated and went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> There's gonna be 1 maybe 2 chapters left till I finish this story off. But fear not, I'll be writing more stories after this!  
> As a heads up, there will be gore at some point!


	8. Take more than you need, take enough to hollow me out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of Sebastian's hard work starts to pay off when Jim returns from his business trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from the song "Take More Than You Need" by The Dear Hunter

The days of Jim’s absence rolled by and Sebastian put 110% into absolutely everything. He ate all of his meals, went to the gym and the shooting range every day, and frequently masturbated while he thought about Jim. It became a routine for Sebastian, which was exactly what he needed to excel. And he was only getting stronger and sharper with each run, punch, and shot he took; He was even getting good at his old “just barely miss” trick again. Sebastian was certain everything he'd done would impress Jim when he returned from whatever country it was he was traveling in.

Sebastian couldn’t get Jim out of his mind the whole week but it didn’t bother him like it once had. There was always going to be a deep feeling of shame when Sebastian recalled Jim’s hands gripping onto his face while he lay in bed late at night, but the shame only made things more exciting; Shame would always be a small driving force in Sebastian's sex life. In the dark, with his muscles aching from weight lifting, Sebastian would grip his sheets tightly like it was Jim writhing around and sweating with him. He  _ needed _ to fuck him, he had to, and it would be so satisfying once he was the one taking control. Sebastian could only take being subservient for so long until he was likely to attack like a wild cat, with his claws out and his grip  _ strong _ .

He awoke from his dream of overpowering Jim feeling sweaty with a definite hard-on when his 6 am alarm blared and buzzed on his phone.  _ Sex dream  _ _ again _ _?  _ Sebastian stayed with his face buried in his pillow as he reached blindly for his phone on the side table. He squinted at the screen as he turned off the alarm, tossing the phone down on his mattress and lying face down on the pillow once more.  _ Are you going to rub one out before work?  _ He thought about it but was interrupted by his phone buzzing once; A text.  _ Probably Dexter. _ With a sigh, he rolled onto his back and checked his phone. To his surprise, it wasn’t Dexter, it was Jim. Sebastian had almost forgotten that Jim  _ was _ , in fact, coming back at some point; He wasn't going to be floating alone forever. He held his phone above him and stared up at Jim's name on the notification, before finally opening the text:

Good morning Moran. Put on a suit and make yourself presentable, we have breakfast and then a meeting. Car outside, you have an hour ❤️

Sebastian read the text several times, staring at the heart emoji that punctuated the end.  _ That doesn't mean shit, he's been doing that this whole time. _ Still, it felt good, mostly to hear from him again. All he had was Jim as his north star to point him in the right direction, a silent god that may or may not have been listening. To at least see his words again felt special.

He put his phone down on his nightstand and finally sprang out of bed.  _ Presentable? I can do that.  _ Sebastian speedily brushed his teeth and hopped into the shower, making absolutely sure to scrub down every inch of himself. He once again considered dealing with his boner while he washed his hair, but decided against it just in case he was being timed. He got in and out quickly and wiped the steam off his mirror so he could see himself. Sebastian's skin was still as nasty as ever so in some attempt to relieve that, he rubbed on some moisture he found in a drawer while he mumbled the instructions aloud, “Morning  _ and _ night? Shit.” 

After his hair was dry and he looked like he actually cared about his appearance, Sebastian promptly put on his suit and his shoes, slipping a bottle of lube in his jacket pocket for good measure, and was out the door with more nerves than he expected to have. He was looking forward to this, being able to prove to Jim that he was a worthy choice as a right hand. The elevator dinged and opened once it reached his floor and he got inside, humming as he tapped the ground floor button.  _ You’re excited? Do you think this is gonna be any different than it was before? _ Odds were that Jim was going to react the same way as he did before, all business until he wasn’t. But Sebastian eagerly awaited for Jim’s “all business” facade to fade so he could show Jim that he wasn’t afraid; He could handle whatever Jim was going to throw at him.

He pulled open the back door of the now very familiar black car but there was no Jim inside. Sebastian frowned involuntarily as he got in and shut the door, the car driving off once he was in.  _ Where is he? _ Well, Jim didn’t say he would be in the car, but he said “we” when he talked about getting breakfast. Why wasn’t he in the car though? He was there the last time.  _ Maybe he’s bored with you already. _ Sebastian looked up when he realized his last name was being said over and over, seeing Dexter had rolled down the partition to speak with Sebastian.

“Christ, Sebastian. He’s meeting you at the cafe, calm down.”

He grumbled and waved Dexter away, “I’m  _ fine, _ keep your eyes on the road.”

Dexter chuckled and shook his head, going about his business but leaving the tinted window between them down.  _ Jim has you wrapped around his finger. _ Sebastian rubbed his face and let out a long sigh, noting that his face did feel smoother; Perhaps there was some truth in using a moisturizer after all. In the past, his inner voice would have called him a faggot for even thinking about maintaining himself, but its tone had since changed the last week. Being bisexual didn't matter because everything that his mind whispered to him was about making Jim happy,  _ everything _ , even if it was dressing nice and actually eating. If it meant he received praise or closeness from his harsh boss, then it was worth it; Within reason, of course, Sebastian was unlikely to kill himself for Jim at this point and if he wanted Sebastian to blow him that would also be a struggle.

The car slowed to a stop in front of the cafe and Sebastian clapped his hand on Dexter’s shoulder appreciatively before he exited the vehicle. He walked up to the entrance of the cafe with as much confidence as he could muster and went inside, where Sebastian was greeted by a server that spoke a quick “right this way, Mr. Moran” and led him to the same spot he and Jim had shared breakfast before. And there was Jim, who was smiling up at Sebastian with his hands folded in front of him on the table; He could have sworn Jim was glowing with something close to holy light, but it was really just the sun rising behind him. Sebastian stood up straighter as he walked toward him, feeling as though Jim could see right through his confidence and into his soul. As casually as he could, Sebastian sat down across from him and folded his hands in front of himself as well. 

“Well well well,” Jim started as he unfolded his hands to make himself tea, “Sebastian Moran, I’m impressed. You’ve taken care of yourself, kept up with all your runs, and even opened up to another human being. You  _ neeeever  _ do that. I think that deserves a present.”

_ He noticed everything _ . Sebastian tried his best to hide his excitement from Jim’s glowing words. He  _ had _ worked really hard this week and it felt  _ good _ . He recalled his life 10 days earlier, how he had found himself in an inactive lifestyle, just waiting for something to happen while he fell down a spiral of binge drinking every night. His mind was foggy and unfocused and now he felt sharp now, ready for anything. Jim’s new life for him had a strange effect, with enough ups and downs to feel like he was on a poorly planned rollercoaster that gave everyone neck problems. But it thrilled Sebastian like being in the military and even like playing Rugby in university once had. He was pushed to be better, and when pushed by the right person Sebastian felt like he could do anything. Sebastian picked up the glass of water that was waiting for him and had a sip before asking, “What kind of present?”

Jim reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a small rectangular gold box, setting it down in the middle of the table, “You’ll have to open it to find out.”

He furrowed his brow as he stared at the box in the middle of the table, inspecting it.  _ Would it be jewelry? I doubt he would do that _ . Sebastian picked up the box and noted how heavy it was.  _ Too heavy to be jewelry. What else would he get you? _ Finally, he opened the box, moving a piece of cotton that concealed the gift until at last, he was looking down at a gold oblong object with two small handles on either end and a hole in the middle. Sebastian fiddled with the device with a confused look on his face before Jim finally spoke, “It’s a cigar cutter, Moran.”

“And you already know that I don’t smoke cigars, so why? Do you want me to pick up a new habit?”

Jim chuckled at Sebastian and set a hand on top of his wrist, “Sebastian, don’t think too much in the box. I promise you, there’s a myriad of uses for that little tool, outside of cigars,” He took his hand back to pour a little milk into his tea to finish it off, bringing the cup to his lips while he watched Sebastian fiddle with his gift, “Push in the two sides.”

Sebastian complied and pushed in the two sides of the cigar cutter to see the two blades in the middle shut closed. His eyes lit up as Sebastian played with his new toy, realizing that it may in fact have good uses outside of cutting cigars.  _ Might be able to cut a finger off. _ He grinned at Jim and then put the device into his pocket, “Thank you, Sir.”

Seeing that Sebastian had figured out the intentions of his gift, Jim smirked and rubbed his foot against his leg; He wasn’t trying to play footsies or anything, just his strange way of showing appreciation for a job well done. “You’re welcome, Basher,” He replied, noting that Sebastian sat up straighter in his chair as he made contact with his leg, “Did you miss me while I was gone?”

How to answer that question? He obviously did miss Jim when he was gone, but to what degree Sebastian was willing to admit it was another story. Could you tell your boss that you’ve only known for a little more than a week that you want to follow his every command and fuck him like he’s your enemy? Maybe not now, Sebastian was afraid that would give Jim  _ too _ much of an ego boost, but he wanted to give him something, “All things considered...I did...I mean I kept up on everything, didn’t I?”

“And?”

Sebastian wanted to give himself time to think, so he poured himself a cup of tea before replying, “And you know I'm shit at taking care of myself.” He tossed a sugar cube into his tea with a splash of milk, surprised with how open he was being. Perhaps it was the practice he’d had with Dexter that made this all easier.

“Sebastian. Were you doing all of this to impress  _ me?  _ Were you spending  _ all _ week thinking about the pat on the head you were going to get? I only have to dangle approval above you to get you to eat a decent meal. Dear Basher, you still think you're garbage and yet the lengths you'll go to so people believe you're nothing short of amazing are astounding. Yes, Moran, I’m impressed you’re a very good boy, are you happy?”

_ Do you think he’d let you fuck him right now? _ Sebastian licked his lips and took a sip of his tea before he spoke, “Yes.” He rubbed his foot against Jim’s leg once to convey his feelings, sitting up straight again once their server had brought them their breakfast.  _ Is he ever going to let you order your own food? _

He tried to hide his excitement as he started eating.  _ A  _ _ very _ _ good boy, did you hear that? _ Damn right he was a good boy, he’s Sebastian Moran; Excellent shot with a sharp mind and a commander that would lead him to victory every step of the way. Sebastian felt a sense of pride that he hadn’t felt in quite some time, he wasn’t exactly sure how to handle it.  _ Are you allowed to be this proud? Have you even earned that? _ Of that, he wasn’t sure. As Jim had stated, Sebastian felt that he was garbage, because that’s what he’d heard his entire life. Even after all of his achievements, there was still his inner voice; It may have no longer bothered him about being gay, but it never let up on his self-worth. If that voice was anyone’s, it was his Father’s, who had a long history of telling Sebastian that he was no good and never would be.

Sebastian needed to step away from the void he was about to fall into, so he spoke with Jim after eating a spoonful of beans, “How was your trip?”

“Boring and tedious. And it hardly needed to last that long, but you  _ did _ need a little time to stew,” Jim answered before he used his napkin to wipe his lips off.

Sebastian snorted and shook his head.  _ Figures, he was leaving you alone on purpose. _ He was right though; Who knows what Sebastian might have done if Jim was still showing up every night. Jim recognized that Sebastian was too close to ending his own life, or at the very least slipping into far too great a depression to possibly escape if Jim pushed him any further, and a week to clear his head and  _ focus _ was what he needed; A week for him to idealize Jim rather than witness him for the snake he was. Now Sebastian was like clay in his hands; He could be molded the perfect example of a second in command. 

“I did...” Sebastian admitted, glancing up at Jim to see him pouring himself another cup of tea, “I did. You always seem to know what you’re doing.”

“And it’s not an act, I  _ do _ know what I'm doing,” Jim replied as he finished putting milk into his teacup, “So whenever you’re unsure, you can look to me for guidance. That’s what good dogs do, isn’t it?”

“Oh, I’m a dog now?”

“You’re whatever I want you to be, Moran.”

Sebastian froze as a shiver went down his spine.  _ God that was hot _ . His hand closed into a fist around his napkin on his thigh as he swallowed. He was whatever Jim wanted him to be and he was happy to do that, but he couldn’t help but feel a certain amount of dread at the response. Sebastian was well aware that Jim would be dragging him along on experiences he could only imagine and there was a chance it could all end in catastrophe. It scared him and thrilled him, it got him horny in a way the general public would find unhealthy and taboo. Sebastian cleared his throat and spoke up like a good dog, “Yes, sir.”

Jim rewarded Sebastian with an affectionate foot against his leg once again as he spoke, “Good boy. Now, are you finished? We have a meeting to go to.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope this can help distract all of you from the weirdness happening in the world right now.  
> I've already written chapter 9, I'm just working to edit it right now. Chapter 10 will likely be the end of this story
> 
> Feel free to follow me on twitter, @butchsquatch! I don't bite I promise.
> 
> Also y'all should listen to The Dear Hunter


	9. If you want a boxer, I will step into the ring for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for that meeting Jim mentioned and Sebastian gets a chance to show off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been updated to reflect the subject matter of the chapter
> 
> Chapter title from "I'm Your Man" by Leonard Cohen

Jim was standing to his feet to leave the restaurant and Sebastian realized he still had half a plate of food left, so he shoveled as much of his breakfast into his mouth as he could while still being “civilized”. He wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand (old habits die hard) and jogged behind Jim to open the door for him. Jim walked outside and into the back of the waiting car without a care in the world as Sebastian opened the back door for him as well. Sebastian had a feeling this was going to be his fate, to make sure Jim’s life went smoothly.  _ Even you could do that _ .

Sebastian shut the door and settled in the back of the car with Jim while Dexter (he assumed) drove off, having already rolled up the divider between the front and back seats. He’d spent a lot of time with Dexter that last few days and Sebastian had learned that while he was concerned for him, Dexter was just going to let Sebastian do what he wanted (within reason) and he certainly wasn’t going to pry. Sebastian thought he’d heard Dexter say something about Jim being a manipulative fucker, but it was loud and they’d both been drinking; If that's what he heard, he would take that secret to his grave. Dexter was, at this point, the only friend Sebastian and he didn’t want to lose that.

They sat in silence for a while, Sebastian absently looking out the window until he felt Jim shift closer to him and place a hand on his knee. Sebastian turned his head to find that Jim wasn’t paying attention to him but was looking at something on his phone, like usual. Jim squeezed his knee and Sebastian felt his toes curl.  _ Easy there, Basher. _ What was he looking at in all those moments when he noticed Jim engrossed by his phone? Sebastian leaned over just a little to see what he was reading; An article about some detective named Sherlock Holmes that helped out the police with a murder case. Why did Jim care about that? Sebastian let out an involuntary groan as Jim slid his hand to his inner thigh and he winced as Jim said, “Why don’t you mind your business, Moran?”

“Who’s Sherlock Holmes?” Sebastian asked as he shifted in his seat, horribly aware of his cock so close to Jim’s hand at that moment. 

“Are you jealous?”

_ Yes. _ “I asked you first,” He argued as he tried desperately to maintain his composure.

Jim had a petty look on his face as he smiled at Sebastian and put his phone to the side, groping his thigh as he explained, “Sherlock Holmes is, what he calls, a consulting detective. And he’s helped the police with several big cases at this point. He’s a thorn in my side and a threat and I intend to destroy him,” Jim moved his hand to the front of Sebastian’s pants and groped his definitely hard cock, “Now how about you answer  _ my  _ question. Are you jealous?”

If anything he was  _ more _ jealous now, for some reason, but it was hard to think with Jim's hand between his legs. Sebastian let out a low moan at the question and he shifted in his seat, “Yes... Is that what you’ve been looking at on your phone every time we’re together?”

“Oh, you’ve noticed that?” Jim replied as he continued to fondle Sebastian through his pants, “It was, usually. Truth be told I’m pretty  _ enamored _ with the man, obsessed you might say. Would you help me ruin his life?”

An even louder moan escaped from Sebastian’s mouth and he nodded quickly, his judgment clouded by Jim’s hand on his dick. He swallowed and agreed in a barely composed voice, “It ... would be my honor, Sir…”

The car slowed to a stop and Jim took his hand back before patting Sebastian’s chest as he spoke, “Good. Now save that energy for the meeting.” Jim kicked at Sebastian’s legs while he was trying to catch his breath, “Go, get out, Moran.”

Sebastian shook his head a couple of times and quickly stumbled out of the car, noticing his surroundings as he hung onto the door while Jim exited the vehicle.  _ Docks? No, warehouse. Why a warehouse? _ He shut the door and followed after Jim, adjusting his slacks as he walked.  _ No precum, that’s good. _ Sebastian stood up taller as he examined the area, trying to figure out what exactly they were doing there. The area they were in was relatively abandoned so they were trying to be discreet.  _ Drugs maybe? Does he deal in drugs? Guns more likely. _ He followed Jim into the drab building and down a flight of stairs.  _ Basement, quieter.  _ Someone was going to get killed and he wasn’t sure if it was going to be him or some other unlucky bastard. As they came down the hall, Sebastian spotted a man casually standing against a wall by the only door with light creeping out from under it. He didn’t speak as they approached, only moved and unlocked the door for Jim and Sebastian.

As they entered the room, Sebastian figured out quickly that it wasn’t going to him that died today, but an unlucky bastard, as there was a man tied to a chair with a sack over his head. The room had dim lighting and besides the man, there was only a table and a chair.  _ Well, this must be what Jim meant by "saving that energy". _ Jim walked over to the man and took the bag off his head, revealing a pasty looking man with tape over his mouth, “Sebastian, meet my friend Dion Wyatt. I picked him up on my little trip to Norway this week.” The man looked around rapidly at both Jim and Sebastian with plenty of panic in his eyes. 

Jim chuckled to himself and sat in the available chair in the room with one leg crossed over the other, “Dion happens to own me a lot of money and has for a very long time. Basher, I know you’ve been working hard all week and you’ll be pleased to know this is your last training day before we start doing some  _ very _ big things. Try not to kill him, I told his wife I wouldn’t. I don’t really care if you do though, I already got my money.” 

He looked up and made eye contact with Sebastian, beckoning him forward with a single index finger. “Come here,” Jim hissed and Sebastian drifted over to him, moving in close and placing a hand on the wall behind Jim. With a small smirk on his face, Jim grabbed onto Sebastian’s jaw and pulled him in for a kiss, the second since they’d met. Each kiss between them had been an illustration of Jim’s power and this one sent what felt like electricity through Sebastian’s body. Sebastian set his hand on the side of Jim’s neck and enjoyed the kiss till Jim pulled away, speaking in a hushed voice, “Make me proud, Sebastian.”

Sebastian got a big grin on his face and stayed close for a moment, noting Jim's breath smelled like black tea. He leaned in and kissed Jim again before standing up to his full height and pulling off his jacket, placing it on the table. He unbuttoned his sleeves and then rolled them up to his elbows as he spoke, “Dion did no one warn you about Moriarty? Why would you want to borrow money from him when you knew you couldn’t pay him back? I mean that’s pretty irresponsible.” Sebastian shook his head disappointedly as he started to circled Dion like he was a wounded animal.  _ Oh, you’re going to have way too much fun with this _ . He glanced over at Jim who seemed to be transfixed already. 

A grin crept onto Sebastian’s face as he recalled that he hadn’t done his work out for the day and he  _ was  _ planning on training with the punching bag, but he figured Dion might be a suitable enough stand-in. Sebastian cracked his knuckles and then punched Dion square in the jaw, who wailed in pain. With a glimmer in his eyes, Sebastian hit the man, again and again and again, until he'd had his fill and Dion was bruised and bloody but still recognizable. There was that alive feeling again, the one he got when danger buzzed around him. He was breathing heavily as he stared down at the man for a long moment, admiring his work till his curiosity got the better of him and he turned his head and looked at Jim. He was still hanging on Sebastian’s every action, with a similar wild look in his eye. Sebastian gazed at him for a long moment before he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the cigar cutter that Jim had gifted him during breakfast.

“Dion I know I’ve been cruel already but I’m not done,” Sebastian began, while still keeping intense eye contact with Jim. Neither cared that Dion started to cry loudly behind them as they were far too captivated in each other.  _ What is he thinking right now? _ He wanted so badly to know what was happening in Jim’s head. Sebastian realized that while Jim knew everything about him, he knew almost nothing about Jim, save for any eccentricities he’d observed up to this point. How old was he? How long had he been in the business of crime? Where did Jim want to fuck when this meeting was over? He licked his lips and finally turned away from Jim, leaving those questions unsaid and instead electing to be a showoff.

He walked over to Dion and pushed him over onto his back, where he cried in pain from landing on his arms while Sebastian pulled off his shoe, tossing it across the room, “You see, I just got a present today for learning how to behave myself and I figured what better way to seduce my boss than to cut off someone’s toe in front of him? It just makes sense.” Sebastian pulled the man’s sock off too and tossed it to the side before fitting the empty hole in the middle of the cigar cutter over Dion’s pinky toe. Dion struggled but it didn’t matter to Sebastian, he was already in a position where he wouldn’t be able to get away. Sebastian pushed the two handles on the cigar cutter and Dion’s toe was sliced clean off with a squish, crunch, and a loud cry of agony from Dion.

"Oh quit your whining, I could have cut off your finger instead," Sebastian stated to Dion as he pulled him back up into a sitting position. He went back to circling the man, who was too busy crying over his own pain, “You know, Dion, maybe you can help me out. I can’t fucking figure out why I’m behaving myself for my … Snake of a boss. You know he just tortured me for the last ...10 days? Of course, he probably sees it as  _ training _ , rather than torture, but that's beside the point. Why do I like it so much, Dion?"

Sebastian glanced over in Jim's direction and he was still paying attention. He chuckled and started to speak to Dion once more, "But you know, life is funny that way. One night you’re already wasted at 7:30 and wondering what happened to your life and the next night an incredibly powerful man is riding your dick on your kitchen counter. And you  _ like _ it. Of course, for you, it would be one night you were in Norway minding your own business and the next day you’re getting your toe cut off but you know Dion, this isn’t about you.” Sebastian punched Dion in a way that he knew would knock him out, and it did, quieting the loud sobs the man was making despite having tape over his mouth.

Standing with his back still turned to Jim, Sebastian flexed his hand and stared at it, watching the blood from Dion trickling down his bruised knuckles. It felt nice, made everything feel crisp and sharp.  _ Alive.  _ Alive in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. He could feel the beast that was tired of subserviences and wanted blood.

“Sebastian,” Jim sneered, breaking Sebastian from his stare at Dion's bleeding face. He turned around to find Jim staring, shifting his shoulders in almost an unnatural way, “Are you going to continue to monologue about your feelings or are you going to fuck me?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm working on the next chapter, which will likely be the last one!  
> I'm unsure if a cigar cutter would _actually_ cut off a toe, but we can all pretend it can.  
> Stay home and wash your hands y'all!


	10. You make my life so hard, but that's what gets me off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian finally gets to make Jim scream again, but is too wild for his own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! This is the end folks!  
> Chapter title from "A Thousand Bad Times" by Post Malone

He was monologuing, but that was the easiest way to admit most of his feelings without looking at Jim directly. Sebastian had been honest with his feelings to both Dexter and now this strange man from Norway, who definitely wasn’t listening. But it was only them now, just Sebastian and Jim. He was the one thing on Sebastian’s mind these 10 long days, every moment of every day. He had to make good on his promise that he was going to fuck him till he screamed. Sebastian finally crossed the room to Jim, grabbing onto the knot in his tie and kissing him forcefully.

Jim didn't fight back against Sebastian’s pull. It was clear from the way he moaned when he kissed him that he wanted it just as much as Sebastian did; He figured he must have done a good enough job to warrant his behavior. Sebastian pulled off Jim's tie quickly and tossed it to the ground before speaking, his lips brushing against Jim's, "Did I make you proud?"

A nearly invisible grin came onto Jim's face and he reached up to scratch Sebastian’s jaw like a dog as he replied, "So proud."

Sebastian grinned much wider than Jim did, that wild look still in his eyes as he pushed Jim's suit jacket off his shoulders. How badly Sebastian wanted to hear those words from him, for too long now. He hoped that it would finally quiet the voice in his head that told him he was worthless. And it did, for the time being. He tucked the words away in his brain for later when he wanted to quiet the voice again; And also for masturbating, but anything related to Jim was used for that.

His confidence got the better of him and Sebastian ripped open Jim’s shirt, pearly white buttons clacking to the concrete floor. With an outraged look on his face, Jim swiftly slapped Sebastian across the face, hard. Sebastian suddenly felt like he couldn't think anymore, the sting from the slap felt so close to a kiss from him; That electric feeling Jim kept giving him that made him feel volatile and indestructible. Whatever Jim was going to shout in anger was muffled when Sebastian kissed him again and gripped him by the neck firmly. The groan he felt in Jim’s throat was a pretty good indicator that he liked having his neck grabbed just as much as Sebastian did.

He thought about choking Jim to death, for all the things he’d done to him. All the distress he’d been through, the hours he’d spent thinking about Jim; All those hours spent staring out the window with notions of throwing himself down to the street. Maybe if he ended  _ Jim’s  _ life instead of his own, then he might be at peace. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He hated Jim but he was obsessed with him; He simultaneously wanted to be by his side forever and hoped he would never have to see him again. There was that small hope that his misbehavior would get him fired. Sebastian’s hand gripped tighter onto Jim’s neck and he could feel his breathing get more shallow.  _ You need him _ .  _ What would you do without him?  _ Sebastian knew that without him, he’d be back to his old ways, wasting his life away. Finally, he let go and let Jim catch his breath while he pushed his shirt off his shoulders.

“Bastard…” Jim wheezed and Sebastian didn’t respond in favor of biting hard along his shoulder, causing him to croak out a moan. 

He reached his hand down and groped Jim through his slacks like he’d done to Sebastian in the car, noting that he was hard as he replied, “Mm seems like you don’t mind,  _ Sir _ .”

Jim furrowed his brow in frustration and grabbed onto Sebastian’s tie, pulling him in closer. Sebastian had a feeling he might get an earful about his actions later but for now, he was content to behave badly. He continued to stroke Jim’s cock through his pants until Jim got frustrated and pulled on Sebastian’s tie more before he complained, “Stop fucking around, Sebastian. Either kill me or fuck me.”

_ Never too late to kill him _ . Sebastian grabbed onto Jim’s belt and pulled him to his feet. “You got it, boss,” Sebastian replied as he pulled Jim over to the table in the room. He undid Jim’s belt and pants, pulling his pants and underwear down before bending Jim over the table _.  _ He reached over Jim and into the pocket of his suit jacket to grab the lube that he had pocketed before he left his flat in the morning; His presumption that he would need it turned out to be not entirely baseless. Jim clearly noticed as he chuckled, moving to his elbows to glance back at Sebastian, “Oh so you  _ knew _ this was going to happen?”

“You didn’t? I thought you always knew what was happening, that’s what you told me.”

Jim let out an annoyed sigh and rolled his eyes, “Stop  _ talking _ Sebastian.”

Sebastian growled like the wild animal he felt like and pushed Jim by the head down flat against the table with considerable force to prove he wasn’t going to just roll over this time. He unbuckled his belt and his pants one-handed, a skill he’d mastered from many nights of drunk sloppy sex with women he couldn’t remember the name of the morning after. Sebastian pulled his dick out of his underwear and opened the lube, letting out a moan as he stroked lube onto his cock. 

_ Is this better than your dreams? _ It was all so much more real now that Sebastian was actually  _ here _ . But the reality of the situation involved a lot more emotions than Sebastian had expected; The feeling of Jim’s hair between his fingers and the curve of his back made his stomach do things he did not appreciate and wished he could ignore. 

As he slipped his cock inside of Jim, he let out a small groan and gripped onto Jim’s hair tighter. “S-Shit,” Sebastian sputtered out before sliding his cock further inside of Jim, who let out a long moan. “You like looking at what I did, Jim? I think I did a good job,” He asked but Jim didn’t answer, he just stared over at the pool of blood at Dion’s feet.  _ You’re both freaks, you’re meant for each other.  _ At this point, it felt like they were, the way both of their sick fantasies intersected to complete one another. 

While he slowly fucked Jim, he realized this was a quicker fix than drinking ever could be. To stare down at the naked arched back of his boss that regularly held so much power over him, it felt close to intoxication. Jim made him feel alive in ways that mimicked whiskey that was just as deadly but didn't leave him pissing himself on the floor of his rented room. He'd rather his life end in the web of Jim Moriarty than to a bottle in the gutter any day. Now he had something to live  _ and _ die for.

Sebastian sunk his claws onto Jim’s hip and he fucked him deeper and harder, tired of trying to talk to Jim if he wasn't going to respond. Instead, he pulled Jim back by his hair and enjoyed his moans that just got louder and louder, more hoarse. It was hard for Sebastian not to have an inflated ego when Jim moaned like he was ending his life. His dick was  _ that  _ good.  _ You need to work on your inflated sense of self-importance.  _

He slipped his arm around Jim’s waist as his own moans got louder and Sebastian stopped trying to show off and relaxed like Jim had told him many times before. His grip in Jim’s hair loosened but instead, he ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. That feeling in his stomach came back and in an effort to ignore it, Sebastian dug his nails into Jim’s side and closed his eyes.  _ Don’t try to get intimate with him. Jim is the last man you wanna do that with. _ He was just a fuck, nothing more.  _ Know your place. _

Sebastian reminded himself that this wasn't about his need for some form of intimacy or revenge for the night Jim rode his cock on his kitchen counter. It was about proving to Jim that he wasn't afraid. He wasn't scared of Jim, he wasn't scared of his bisexuality, and he wasn't afraid to die. He could take anything Jim threw at him; If that meant dismemberment and anal sex, then so be it. 

Sebastian fucked Jim as hard and deep as he could, his nails leaving marks on Jim's side. Screaming out a moan, Jim came on the table and tried to kick Sebastian off before he could cum in him. No luck, as the sound of Jim's screams, which Sebastian had been dreaming about for a week now, sent him over the edge and Sebastian came inside of him with a loud moan, his breath hot against Jim’s shoulder.

While he caught his breath, Sebastian’s claws were still stuck into Jim’s side and his head was spinning. If the sex was always going to be this good, then he didn’t mind that it was stuck in his contract. And it helped he was getting paid for all this too.  _ You mean your job is killing people and having sex with your boss?  _ He grinned to himself and released his hold on Jim, taking a step back to run his fingers through his hair. Sebastian laughed to himself but he quickly realized that was a bad idea.

Jim turned around quickly and grabbed onto Sebastian’s jaw, walking forward while Sebastian stumbled over his pants till he was seated in the chair Jim was watching Sebastian work from.  _ Oh, you fucked up. _ His hand was still on Sebastian’s jaw and the look on his face was hard to decipher. Sebastian didn’t expect to get his reprimand for behaving badly this soon. He swallowed and Jim finally spoke, “You  _ ripped _ my shirt and you came in me, despite the fact I  **told** you not to before.” His teeth were gritted and he was holding harder and harder onto Sebastian’s jaw. Jim’s grip was stronger than he expected and Sebastian was left to just stare up at him, his heart beating fast in his chest and his breathing labored. “Just because you punch someone a couple of times and cut their toe off doesn’t mean you can be a fucking animal, Moran. Do you understand?”

Sebastian nodded rapidly and didn’t dare speak. He was reminded of the day they met when Jim gripped his jaw in the back of the car; The catalyst of everything. By Jim’s hand, Sebastian knew he’d be pulled through a life of unpredictability. 

He let out a breath as Jim gripped his jaw tighter one last time before letting go. “But you’re always a disgusting animal, clearly,” He jeered while he grabbed his ruined button-up off the ground, “From the way you were looking at me I’m surprised you’re not trying to cum in me again.”

While Jim got himself dressed, Sebastian was squirming in his seat with his pants still down to his thighs.  _ He already knows you like it when he talks to you like this, might as well enjoy it. _ Jim pulled on his button-up shirt and let out an offended noise, tucking it into his slacks as best he could. He pulled on his shit jacket and admonished Sebastian, “You ruined a perfectly good Mcqueen shirt and because of that, I’m docking your pay.  _ Again _ . You  _ were _ going to get extra because you did a fine job with Dion but you just  _ had _ to push it.” Sebastian was about to get to his feet to get himself dressed but Jim put a hand on his chest to stop him, “Sit and take it, Moran.”

This was going to be his life now. The old cycle of drinking was gone and the new one of abuse was born: work hard to get Jim’s approval, get too cocky, fuck up everything, repeat. Sebastian liked it, even though literally anyone would tell him this was all a very bad idea. But nobody would really call Sebastian a smart man, despite the fact that he was educated. This was all going to get him killed, or at the very least wounded both mentally and physically. Sebastian didn’t care, all he wanted now was Jim, regardless of the danger. He watched Jim finish putting his clothes on, absolutely entranced by everything about him.  _ You’re a fucking moron. _

Jim watched Sebastian for a moment before sighing and walking over to him, setting a hand on his neck as he spoke in a far more calm tone than he had just a moment ago, “Good job. Put your clothes back on and get rid of Dion.” He rubbed his thumb against Sebastian’s throat and shook his head, “Do that and you’re done for the day. I don’t care how you do it: send him back to Norway, kill him, throw him in a river, whatever. Tomorrow, breakfast and we’ll talk about what we’re doing next. Speak.” 

“I look forward to it, Sir.”

He let go of Sebastian’s neck and added while he stood his feet, “I had a feeling you would.” And with that Jim left, leaving Sebastian alone to get dressed and be stuck with his thoughts, which were predominately about the events to come. What was his future with Jim going to hold for him? Would he only be a fuck for Jim for the rest of his career? Would he even survive this? Was all of this going to end in heartbreak? As he put on his suit jacket, Sebastian realized all these questions were futile.  _ None of that matters, just enjoy the ride _ . He picked up Dion’s unconscious body and left the mostly empty room behind, ready to get rid of the body and ready for whatever was in store for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much if you read through all of this! This is the longest piece of writing I've ever done and I'm really proud of how it turned out. I've been RPing Mormor with my girlfriend since 2014 or 2015, so I know my version of Sebastian really well. Now to finally share it with other people feels really good!  
> There is gonna be another story after this, I've already started working on it. I intend to have a whole series of stories that chronicle life together until it's inevitably sad ending.  
> Please feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/butchsquatch) (as I've said before)


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